While Britney Spears may finally be free from her 13-year-long conservatorship, she is still wrestling with disturbing memories from that traumatic time period.
Spears has been consistently vocal about her father, Jamie Spears, and how he treated her abusively under his care. She testified how she was forced to take mood-stabilizing medication and have an IUD in her body to prevent her from having more children.
In addition to her father, she has also called out mother Lynn, as well as younger sister Jamie Lynn for enabling the abuse. This Thursday, Britney posted on social media once more, slamming her family by giving an account of what life previously looked like under their control.
Britney went on to detail her “demoralizing” time in a treatment center that she was forced to stay in for four months, saying that she lost the use of her lower body because she was confined to a chair for “8 hours a day.”
“The only thing honestly disturbing about me is depression,” Britney wrote. “But you don’t take people out of their homes for that!”
The singer continued to recount her time at the center, saying: “There was a different nurse every day looking at me when I changed … not having a say on absolutely anything … depression is getting stuck in dark moments in your head … well … that whole four month experience amplified my depression by 100 !!!”
“The people who worked for me stood at the doors saying I couldn’t go anywhere … I honestly thought they were trying to kill me … cus it seemed to me like some sick joke when I would call and say I’d been working here for two weeks … when can I have the keys to my car and go home ??? Their response … you can come and go when we tell you we can,” she added.
Britney said that she was told she had to stay at the “treatment home” for two months, and then attend a second facility for another month — but nobody knew when she would be allowed to go home.
“I felt like it stunted my growth when I was there !!!” Britney wrote. “I could only use my upper body because I had to sit in a chair 8 hours a day and gave like 8 gallons of blood every week !!!”
“My family f****** killed me and that’s exactly what I thought,” adding how it was that or “just a sick joke.”
Britney went on to say that she was “too nice in the conservatorship and never spoke up,” explaining: “I couldn’t get angry or scream or anything !!! I felt suffocated !!! At one point I thought … Wait, do I have cancer and they don’t want me to know and this is some secret therapy for people with cancer ???”
She said that “high doses of lithium” left her unable to speak, and that she became “extremely ill” in the center.
Britney went on to allege that her family’s reaction to her treatment made her question her own response, writing: “I wanted to kick and scream, all of it, but my family sat back and acted as if it was not a big deal !!! The most damage that was done to me is the sick psychology of my own family convincing me that I was OK with what they did … I deserved that !!!”
“Sorry we can’t help you while they are doing illegal stuff to you,” Britney went on. “Now I would spit in their faces … My one regret in life and my whole 40 years, if I could go back in time I would spit in their stupid f****** faces !!!”
She went on to add how the whole thing had left her “pretty messed up,” but she hadn’t “even come close to sharing all of what they did.” Britney promised that things will unfold “in time,” before concluding her post with: “I still dream about spitting in their f****** faces.”
Britney’s Instagram post was deleted from her account soon after it was shared.
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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