My 5-Year-Old Son Refuses to Wipe His Own Butt: Advice?

This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.

QUESTION: My Son Absolutely Refuses to Wipe His Own Butt: Advice?

“How do I get my 5-year-old to wipe his own butt?

My son absolutely refuses to wipe his own butt! I have tried to teach him how to, and he won’t even attempt to try. Obviously, he’s getting too old to have his mama wipe his butt for him! Help?!”

RELATED: My 5-Year-Old Stepdaughter Pees and Poops on the Floor of Her Room at Night: Advice?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“Five is not too old for you to still be wiping his butt. Be patient. You could start by showing him how to use one wipe himself and then you do the rest. Everything is a stage. Eventually he won’t need you to and be great about it on his own. But seriously, I have a five year old. They are still little.”

“I was still doing my boy until he was 8 years old… one day I was so sick I couldn’t get out of bed and he needed me to do it and I couldn’t move. Told him he would be there all day of he did try himself and he did it. Was a good day!”

“My 4.5 year old doesn’t. I actually prefer it that way. I shudder to think about what mess would occur if he did.”

“My daughter is 7 and still can’t wipe her own butt when she poops. She doesn’t do a very good job and I think that’s why. I’d rather do it for her than make her do it and her end up having a rash or something.”

“My son wiped himself at 2. My aunt would do it for him so he asked her to do it till he was 5. He wouldn’t even ask me because I would say no. I heard him ask her once and I said boy if you don’t wipe your own butt no tv for a week. Better believe he never asked her again!”

“My son refused to wipe his butt. My boyfriend and I got tired of constantly buying him new underwear so we had him start cleaning them when he wouldn’t wipe. It worked and now he does.”

“Tell him that all the kids he goes to school with will know how to wipe themselves and that his teachers will not do it for him, so if he doesn’t do it, he can walk around being the stinky kid with a dirty butt and nobody wants to play with that kid.”

“Might sound bad! But I just quit helping him and he started doing it on his own lol.”

“My 6-year-old is the same!. He doesn’t feel like he gets clean enough on his own. We use the flushable wipes (though I recommend putting them in the trash & not flushing). He hates regular TP an that has helped a good bit, but he still prefers to be wiped by me. He has gotten a sore butt from wiping at school or somewhere alone before & that just makes him more afraid of not getting clean.”

“My 6-year-old was petrified to because he didn’t want to get poop on his hand. I taught him how to use the toilet paper to cover his whole hand and that made him feel a lot better.”

“Mine had to when in daycare but since we’ve been quarantining she didn’t want to. I started making her hand wash her undies and she started back again. I tell her she has to wipe herself and when she feels she is done call me so I can check. She’s 5 so I don’t expect her to be 100% cleaned but she does have to try.”

“Wipes! Show him how then have him do it with you in there a few times, then go to just checking after he’s done to make sure he did a good job. Only way my kid would do it himself is if we checked for a few weeks. It didn’t take long though until he’s wiping great and not even mentioning us wiping him anymore. He was 5 1/2 when he started! Just before he went to school.”

Have a parenting, relationship, or other family-related question? Submit it on Facebook or Answers!