I Want to Keep Distance Between My Son and His Father, Who Works in a Hospital, Because of COVID-19: Advice?

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QUESTION: How Do You Distance Your Kids from Family Who Work in Hospitals During the COVID-19 Pandemic?

“My sons’ dad and I are not together. His dad works in a hospital in the ER.

When COVID first started, I had to make the decision that until the numbers went down, he could not have our son. He was very upset about this and felt I was trying to be controlling. However, our son has respiratory issues and gets sick very quickly. I was trying to be cautious, especially being we didn’t know what this virus was at the time. They would still talk on the phone, and occasionally, I would drive past his dad’s house so he could see him from a distance and say hello.

Now that numbers are going back up, I’m considering doing this again. Where I live, the hospitals are being overcrowded. I know a lot of nurses personally who are freaking out. His dad, however, is not taking it seriously, still wants to go out, take our son to birthday parties; he even thinks it’s okay to fly out to New York for a weekend and come back home to get our son immediately after.

Is anyone else in this situation? Dealing with a spouse or a family member who works in the hospitals, and you’re paranoid about kids catching the virus? How are you dealing with those concerns? Do you distance your children from them?

RELATED: I’m Freaking Out About Giving Birth During the COVID-19 Pandemic: Advice?

I Want to Keep Distance Between My Son and His Father, Who Works in a Hospital, Because of COVID-19: Advice?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“This is not a valid reason to keep your child from his other parent. Many court systems have ruled on this. You’re wrong!”

“If you guys lived together would you tell him he has to stay elsewhere? If you worked in healthcare would you give up seeing your child? This makes me so mad. You can’t punish the father for his work. Hospitals are also testing their employees. You taking your child to any store probably has a greater risk than him getting it from his father. Healthcare workers know how to stay safe.”

“I’ve always worked in health care and have been around many diseases. I ALWAYS make sure to take my clothes off at the door and they got straight into the washer. I don’t think that is fair for the father or the child. The father knows what precautions to take and is being trusted with other people’s children etc. you should trust him with his own.”

“If your child’s father were to take you to court you could end up in a lot of trouble for parental alienation. The court has said covid is not a valid reason to withhold the child from the other parent.”

“Your child needs his father as much as he needs you. A man should not be punished for fulfilling his duties and providing for Himself and his child/children. What if the roles were reversed and you were out of the home working and he said you couldn’t see the child? He is not anymore at risk with his dad than he is with you. If you’ve left the house for a single grocery trip or fast food run, you have exposed your son as much as his father would. Educate yourself before taking your child away from his father.”

“My sister was forced to make this decision over Thanksgiving with her kids’ dad who is not taking this seriously. The week before he was sick and had trouble breathing but refused to go get tested knowing his oldest child is a severe asthmatic. Thanks to his selfishness everyone in my house got it, including my mother who is battling covid pneumonia in the hospital as I type this.”

“I don’t have any advice but I was reading the comments and realize some people are heartless. This mama is just trying to protect her child from getting COVID being that he has respiratory issues and if he gets it, it very well could not end well. She’s thinking about the health of her child not about being controlling and trying to ruin the bond between her son and his father. Even if she hasn’t been 100% shut in, she can monitor her sons mask wearing and washing of hands when he is with her.”

“I’m surprised the dad is not taking this seriously being that he works in a hospital.”

“After experiencing covid, I say do not let him see him until numbers get better or until the vaccine comes. This virus is no joke!!”

“I work in a hospital on a Covid ICU. I have 2 children that have medical issues. The first time I stayed away from them. We have more Covid now and they are both with me. I am careful at work. I wear my PPE and I change my scrubs so I don’t take it home. Working in the hospital doesn’t put us at greater risk. We are safer here than people are at the store.”

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