A dad recently took to Reddit to share his reaction when his son asked both he and his wife if he should attempt to keep a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend when he leaves for college in the fall.
His father’s opinion differed from his mothers — due to regretting the exact thing with his current wife.
“He asked his mom and me what we thought he should do, and for a long time I refused to advise him,” the dad wrote. “His mother/my wife, on the other hand, has encouraged him to stay with his girlfriend, even though I asked her to remain impartial.”
And while the father gave him vague opinions, he would not specifically advise his son. But the boy was insistent on hearing his father’s opinion.
“To make a long story short, we were high school sweethearts,” the father revealed.
“…but in many ways I regret choosing to make a commitment to my wife when we were so young. We had a similar issue. I applied to graduate schools and ended up getting offers from schools in NY and LA which I really liked. I would have probably attended one, but my wife did not want to move to either place, which forced me to choose. I have always wondered how my life would have gone had I chosen a different path.”
The father revealed it to his son and “advised him to think about if he wants that hanging over him while he is away at school.”
He went on to share the following:
“To be tied down like this during the best years of his life is going to give him a very different college experience and probably limit him in many ways. I did not tell him he should break up, but I did strongly urge him to consider if he is prepared to make that sacrifice and end up like me wondering what he missed out on.”
Sadly, one of his daughters overheard the exchange and shared the information to his wife.
“My wife has taken this very hard (and so have my daughters), but I don’t think what I said was wrong,” the father confessed.
“I don’t think I am wrong for wanting our son to avoid the same. He has many plans which are not compatible with what his girlfriend wants (she is a local girl like my wife and probably will never want to leave our town or explore the world), so either he is going to end up fighting her over this and feeling bad because he wants to experience life or things will ultimately not work out. If the latter is the case, it is better to end it now so that at least he can enjoy college.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.