After a dad welcomed a son into the world nine years ago, he is living with his son for the first time and he’s worried about how PDA will effect him. In a short Reddit post, the dad admitted that he was never in a relationship with his son’s mom.
According to the 29-year-old father, the little boy lived with his mom for the first 8 years of his life. Then last year, his son moved in with him and my husband.
“At first I didn’t even know how to tell him that I’m married, let alone married to a man. On one hand I want to normalize it in his eyes, but on the other hand I feel like showing even the slightest bit of affection for my husband in front of my son would be unacceptable…”
The dad confessed that he feared the PDA “would be like exposing him to something that’s too much for him.”
“So at this point I’m too scared to even hold my husband’s hand in front of him,” the father wrote on Reddit. “Which probably is just as bad as being too open with it?”
And many other couples in similar situations explained how they personally handle it. Many of them encouraged the dad and his husband to act tastefully rather than let their relationship dictate how they act.
“My wife and I are a same sex couple. We are as affectionate as any other couple. We don’t have sex or even make out in front of the kids but we’ll give each other a quick kiss and we’ll cuddle on the couch or in bed. It’s no different than straight families. It’s important to me that my kids see an example of a loving relationship,” one commenter wrote.
“I guess I just have this deep-rooted shame, cause my family wasn’t exactly pro LGBT. So, I’m afraid that my son will end up being ashamed or even disgusted with me,” the dad told the commenter. “Really all I want for my son [is] to have a good example of what a healthy relationship is about and that same-sex relationships aren’t that much different from opposite-sex relationships”
However, as one commenter pointed out, by him normalizing LGBT relationships around his son, it will only help his son become more understanding and compassionate. “You’re helping normalize it for him. Kids can adjust to a lot, they tend to adapt to their situation much more quickly and with less prejudice or judgment than adults,” the commenter began.
“He will not be ashamed or disgusted. The more he is exposed to it the more normal it will be for him. And the more normal it is to him, the more likely he is to defend you and other LGBT folks and stand up for what’s right. By normalizing it you are raising a better human.”
The dad went on to point out that his fears are something he puts on himself and not because his son ever made a comment that he was uncomfortable with his father’s relationship. “He makes it so much easier for me because he’s such a smart and understanding kid.”
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