A mom writes in asking for advice about whether to tell her daughter’s father, whom she is no longer with, that their daughter started her period. She says her daughter doesn’t want to tell her dad, but this mom thinks, as a co-parent, he has a right to know.
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A member of the community asks:
“Does my daughter’s father have a right to know she started her period?
I am not with my daughter’s father. He lives out of state, also. We have a cordial and supportive co-parenting relationship with each other in regards to her. My daughter started her first period yesterday (Mother Nature is and inconsiderate So and So, lol). I think her father has a right to know. I offered to tell him about her, but she told me not to tell him. I told her that she should tell him. I don’t plan to tell him unless she blows telling him herself completely off (and knowing my daughter, she might).
My question is, how long do you think I should wait before telling him myself, or at least bringing it up to her to tell him again? I don’t want her to be uncomfortable or unhappy, but, as I said, he has a right to know.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Know if She Should Tell Her Ex Their Daughter Started Her Period
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Dad absolutely needs to know so if she is in his care he can handle a period situation if it arises… not telling him could lead to awkward, frustrating situations. Don’t make a huge deal about telling him though, just mention shes started and leave it at that. Answer any questions your daughter or dad may have. Also, tell her why you feel he needs to know, she’s less likely to be upset if she has an understanding of why.”
“I mean if he’s her father and he is a great father at that and very active in her life, YES I would tell him. You don’t have to give details, but you can simply share that your daughter has transitioned to womanhood. It’s good to know because has her dad he may decide to have certain conversations with her regarding boys, etc. There should be no secret among parents when it comes to your child. That is my opinion at the end of the day she is still a child, not a grown woman…”
“For all my dad knows, I still haven’t started my period at 30 and a mother of a baby boy. She should have a right to decide to tell him or not. Leave it.”
“I started my period when I was 8! Had I not told my dad and had an accident, I think he would’ve panicked, at first. Privacy is one thing, but she is his daughter and he needs the information to make informed parenting decisions.”
“It’s her first period; I’m sure she’s shy about it right now. I personally would tell dad & tell him to make sure she doesn’t say anything & let her go to him about it. I told my dad about it when I got my period while with him & needed stuff.”
“Maybe just wait for her to tell him herself. Tell her it’s nothing to be ashamed about.”
“Tell him to make her a basket, pads, tampons, panty liners, Midol, chocolate, favorite jammies, book, munchies.”
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