This is a guest post by author Amber Trueblood, MFT, MFA. She is the author of Stretch Marks and a mother-of-four.
Do you dread taking your little one to school or daycare? Do you sit in the car and cry or feel sick to your stomach afterward? You are not alone. You can get through this, I promise.
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If your child’s separation anxiety has persisted for weeks or months, ask yourself if you’ve been consistent and confident in your approach. (Or at least feigned confidence!) If some days you’re strong and compassionately consistent in your drop-off routine, but other days you “cave” and stay for a long time or take your child back home, this inconsistency will for sure elongate the problem. While it’s not easy, deciding on a clear approach and then sticking to it will result in the best possible outcome.
If you’ve been very consistent and firm with your drop-off routine, and the anxiety levels are not dissipating OR they’re increasing, it may be time to delve deeper. Try sharing with your child stories about times in your life where you felt nervous and fearful, both as a child and as an adult. This may serve to open a conversation and allow for more appropriate expectations – meaning, it’s good for kids to know that parents are not perfect, that we too have fears and anxieties.
Also, you can ask your child to help you come up with a plan of action. Some children will find confidence when they’ve had an opportunity to provide input on the solution. For instance, you and your child might plan together that this week you will sit outside the classroom for 20 minutes after drop off, and be available for two hugs during that time. The next week, you will wait in your car for 20 minutes and be available for two waves through the window. In the third week, the teacher will have your cell number and be allowed to text two times in the first 20 minutes to check-in.
I promise you will get through this phase. I know it is tricky. It can be emotionally grueling, yes. Take a deep breath. Know that you are doing a fantastic job and that your child will be OK.
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If you enjoyed this info, we have more from Amber! You can get your special free gift from Amber at https://ambertrueblood.com/awesomemoms/.
About Amber Trueblood
Amber Trueblood is an author, retreat-host, and the mother of four sons. She’s an unapologetic bibliophile, having devoured over 250 books on behavior, management, systems, parenting, meditation, and self-development. Her expertise, experience, compassion, and humor result in a unique combination of entertainment and effectiveness with her clients.
Interestingly, Amber wrote Stretch Marks, her debut book, while on a Broadway Tour with her husband and four sons, traversing over 60 cities across the U.S. and Canada. Amber is most passionate about providing mothers simple and realistic tools to guide them toward a happier, calmer parenting life. Her unique approach includes helping clients clarify their values and priorities, then showing them how to use that knowledge to make better discipline decisions, relieve mom-guilt, reduce self-judgment, and become a truly enlightened parent.
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