I’m Getting a Divorce and My Ex-Husband Came to Me With a Unique Custody Plan, Will It Work?

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QUESTION: What is a good parenting plan?

“My soon-to-be ex-husband and I are divorcing. He wants to do joint custody but not the normal schedule. He wants to keep them for two weeks and then off for two weeks. Everything would remain as is except where they would stay for 2 weeks. Has anyone tried this kind of custody before? Looking for any advice on the matter.”

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Custody: I'm Getting a Divorce and My Ex-Husband Came to Me With a Unique Custody Plan, Will It Work?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“That’s a really long time away from one parent for younger kiddos. Maybe compromise on the custody plan and do a week.”

“The only issue I can see is with this custody arrangement is depending on the child’s age. If they’re in school, and dad is not in the same district then that won’t really work well. Also, if you’re able you should listen to what the child would like. I personally think 2 weeks on 2 weeks off, is too long to be apart.”

“The most important thing in co-parenting is the kids. How old are the kids? Are the kids old enough to actually tell you what they want? Personally, I believe 2 weeks is a long time for a kid to be away from a parent, meaning if you and Dad are both actively involved with the kids and active parents, 2 weeks might be too long to be away from one of you. Maybe do a week on and a week off. That gives both of you time to focus on yourselves but doesn’t keep either of you away from your kids for too long.

Whatever y’all decide to do with custody, divorce on kids is hard enough, so be consistent. Sit down with Dad and agree to the terms and stick to them so that the kids have consistency. I don’t just mean switching them back and forth between homes every week or every other week either. I mean rules, punishments, and guidelines also. That way they go to bed at the same time at both homes. They get up at the same time. They eat the same, have the same chores/expectations. That way literally the only thing changing is which bed they sleep in. Good luck!”

“That sounds horrible for the child. Confusing and hard to adjust. When my kid is gone for a week, it takes a week to get back in a routine. If you guys are willing to co-parent beautifully and keep the routine and rules the same throughout it’ll be easier with this custody agreement.”

“Week on week off is common but two weeks is a long time to not see mom and dad as a kid. Unless they are older preteens I can see it. Or if you guys are friends and if you randomly miss them, you can go pick them up for dinner or something.”

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