Is It Ever OK to Do Your Child’s Schoolwork for Them During This Era of Online Learning?

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QUESTION: Have You Ever Done Your Child’s Schoolwork for Them Since Starting Online Learning?

“Ok… I have a question. But please, no negative comments. I’m just wanting to be honest and would like some honest feedback.

Do any of y’all ever do your kid’s schoolwork for them? I have. I feel wrong about it, but I also get SO tired of arguing with my 13-year-old to get it done.

I’ve homeschooled her for three years. It’s been wonderful, but sometimes she just slacks off too long, and so I step and do some of her schoolwork.

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Is It Ever OK to Do Your Child's Schoolwork for Them During This Era of Online Learning?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“Doing her homework teaches her nothing. She’s learning that being lazy doesn’t have repercussions. I know as moms we want the best for our kids but you’re actually hindering her. Not only is she going to fall behind because you’ve done her work, but you’re also teaching her a bad thing. Let her fail when she does, punish her. Laziness has repercussions. She can either slack off and remain punished or get her act together.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be homeschooling… The STUDENT is supposed to do their own work, doesn’t matter if it’s homeschooling, distance learning, or regular in-person school. You aren’t doing your child any favors by doing their work for them.”

“I think it’s normal to want to help our kids with everything in life. That being said we aren’t actually helping them by doing things for them. You can’t take her tests in college for her, right? If she doesn’t learn the material your actually hindering her.”

“No. Never. The most I do is read, help type, and guide… ‘Maybe we should read this paragraph again and see if you can find the answer.’ Never once have I done the work. They learn nothing and it defeats the purpose of the work.”

“Oh hell no. I help them as much as they need, but there is no way I would do their work for them. My two teenagers both failed some classes this semester because they didn’t keep their priorities straight while I was working 16 hour shifts to keep them fed, warm, and with a roof over their heads. That’s too bad for them. They didn’t put the work in, they fail. Good luck repeating those classes next semester, sisters.”

“Are you going to be going to work for her on days when she doesn’t feel like going? We have to teach our kids more than the academics, you need to instill a sense of responsibility and discipline as well. There needs to be some consequences implemented…”

“Yup, I’ve got more than one kid and things to get done. I can’t sit at the kitchen table for hours fighting with one child to please keep going and get it done. I did in the beginning of distance learning but when there was no end in sight, I stepped in and sped things up.”

“I have! I’ve done research for him but he’s had to type it out. I’ve even typed out his assignments but he’s told me what to put with my input. If that makes me a bad mom, oh well.”

“Not only are you teaching her that someone else will always be there to finish what she started you’re not letting her fail for herself either. My daughter is in 1st grade, we started homeschooling this year, and she wanted to slack off and not do stuff. Guess what, ok if you’re not going to do it then it will not be turned in and you will receive the appropriate grade. She has always made straight A’s…

… That first time she didn’t turn something in and got a bad grade, SHE DIDNT DO IT AGAIN! You’re honestly doing her the worst disservice of her life by doing her schoolwork for her. Bc now her placement could be higher than a level she is really at, which later on could equate to her not even being able to do the work she has been given bc the level is too hard, bc you have been turning her work in for her. This is just wrong and there are way more and different approaches you should be taking other than just doing it for her…”

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