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QUESTION: I do not trust my aunt’s boyfriend: Advice?
“Hi, I need advice. So my two-year-old is very close with my aunt. They have a great relationship; I and her have had our ups and downs in the past but get along for the kid’s sake. She has a boyfriend who I find to be toxic, acts nice to my face yes, and has good points but has said mean, sarcastic things about me and members of my family behind my back, makes comments on things that aren’t their place at times and in general has said things I find to be overstepping the mark.
She says her boyfriend doesn’t mean it and is only joking, but I’ve felt hurt by this and feel more and more fed up with things that are said every so often. I do not understand why people are mean or judgmental. I worry about this person in my or my child’s life because I feel like they aren’t trustworthy in general. Am I over-sensitive?”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Nope. You chose who you allow being around your child. If you have a bad feeling stick with that, it’s for a reason. If it causes problems in your relationship with your Aunt, so be it.”
“You are not over sensitive. The boyfriend seems toxic and probably does all those things in order to create drama and distance your aunt from her family. Please do not let her know you don’t like him. I think if you say anything against him she will hold on to him harder. Focus on her and your boundaries and what is healthy and respectful and what is toxic and disrespectful. Some people are just really good con artist and are pathologically toxic.”
“If you think theres more than just insulting you happening then by all means remove your child from the situation completely.”
“No. You are not wrong for keeping your kid at a distance. Your child will hear what’s being said and whether joking or not your kid doesn’t understand that. Your kid will eventually lose respect for you.”
“What he says only matters if you allow it to matter to you. So who cares what he says! It is his opinion and you don’t have to own it.”
“No I do not allow my child around people who disrespect, especially in front of them! Especially just an aunt’s boyfriend. He doesn’t need a place in your child’s life.”
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