Erin Napier Reveals Why She And Husband Ben Grieved Their Family Of 3 Prior To The Birth Of Their Second Child

Erin Napier is sharing emotions she and her husband Ben felt before welcoming their second baby.

Napier admitted how she and her husband went through a grieving period prior to the birth of their daughter, Mae, who is now 9 months old. The pair also share a daughter, Helen, who is 4-years-old.

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“I was just grieving our time as a family of three and thinking, ‘It will never be like this again,’ ” the HGTV star explained.

But once the baby arrived, Erin admitted her fears dissipated.

“All of our worries were unfounded,” she said. “It feels like Mae was always there.”

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Erin also addressed the differences in her parenting now that she has not one but two kids at home.

“We have less time to read to Mae because we’re taking care of all the things that Helen needs,” she explained. “And I beat myself up over it, like ‘Is Mae not going to love reading because I haven’t read 50 books to her?'”

Back in December, the couple spoke to PEOPLE about life with their two daughters, revealing how they’re finding their “rhythm” as a family of four.

It feels like every day is a dance, and it has to be carefully choreographed for us to get to the end and all feel good about it,” Erin joked. “The wheels fall off around 5 p.m.”

Ben’s day starts at 4:30 each morning and, he said, “I have every minute planned and scheduled until 8:30 or 9, whenever we get Helen in bed.”

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“We’re just trying to find our rhythm,” Erin explained. “We had a rhythm as a family of three, and now we’re a family of four. Mae needs things when she needs them, and so does Helen and so do we. It’s a challenge, but I think we’re figuring it out.”

“We have had to get more help with that, honestly,” adds Erin of adjusting to being a mom of two. “The only trick I’ve learned so far is that you’ve got to say what you need. And what I need is to be there for my kids.”

She adds of Helen and Mae, “I really don’t want someone else to raise them. I want us to be 100 percent a part of their life.”

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