A mom writes in asking for advice about her ex. She says that her ex has requested to take their son on a cross-country trip to meet a woman whom the ex has not met in person. This mom has tried to explain her concerns about this situation to her ex, but he does not seem to care. She is worried that if she flat-out tells him no, he will find ways to cause problems for her. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“My ex wants to take our child across the country to meet a woman he hasn’t even met: Advice?
My ex wants to take our son across the country to meet a woman he himself has never met. I told him he should go first to meet her and then take him the second time, but he says I’m overreacting and that he is doing nothing wrong. I have explained if it doesn’t work out and you introduce him to her, it’s gonna mess with him, and I don’t want him confused.
He then proceeded to tell me that it would be the same concept as me having a man come to my house when the children are not here (which I don’t bring anyone to my house). I’m just concerned that it’s not good for my son and Idk what to do. If I tell him no, then he will cause issues for me with a family trip I have coming up. He’s always been childish and narcissistic and it’s always been his way or the highway. Any advice?”
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Ex Wants to Take Their Son on a Cross-Country Trip to Meet a Woman He Himself Has Never Met
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“I would say no, but it depends on your custody agreement. If he has custody during the time they are going on the trip, you can’t stop him. If it will interrupt your time then he can’t take him without permission.”
“I would need more information. Is he wanting to take the son to meet her because SHE requested it? She could be a child abductor. That’s just weird. If he’s going across the country to meet her, then he needs to go first. Dad’s attention will be on HER, not the son the entire time. Bring your lawyer in and ask what legal obligations you have to let him go.”
“If it’s his parenting time, then it’s his right to do whatever he wants. You don’t have input, as much as that sucks. If he is asking for extra time outside of your custody agreement for this then say no.”
“Normally I think a lot of women who post stuff similar to this are just bitter….but NOT in this case.
I’d be less concerned about the attachment factor (for now) and more concerned at such a long distance to meet a stranger. If I remember correctly; you can legally stop it (or try to). Since he will be taking your child out of state and from the sound of it several states away a judge may be able to intervene. Call a lawyer and consult with them. It’s a huge safety hazard and a good lawyer will be able to help.”
“Hell to the NO! He can do what he likes without your son involved. What he is doing is selfish, it’s not even to spend quality time with him. He’s doing it for another woman. What if this woman is asking him to bring your son along to steal him — human trafficking. I would NOT allow it!
Tell him to keep the baby out of his business!”
“I absolutely would not let him take your son! Who knows what could go wrong. Stand your ground. And don’t let him ruin your family trip that is not the same. Idk if there is a custody order, but if not you need to get one so things like this cannot happen. And he will not have control over you.”
“Uh, no. He’s never met her… I wouldn’t let my child go. That’s just crazy. He needs to meet her first and then if she wants to come to where you live then they can meet.”
“I’m sorry but did you just say HE hasn’t even met this woman and he wants to take your child with him??? HELL NO!!!!! Do not allow that!!! That man needs to meet her himself and get to know her and then later when it’s been long enough, your child can meet her. And i suggest you meet her too. You cannot trust just anyone with your child, and he’s a very irresponsible parent if he thinks this is okay.”
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