A mom writes in asking for advice about her stepson, a 15-year-old boy, who she says is mean to the daughter she shares with her fiancé. Her fiancé’s son, she says, is constantly hurting and scaring their daughter. He pushes her down. Or he does something else troublesome and tries to blame the toddler. He has repeatedly scared her at night after she’s been put to bed. Her fiancé has tried to speak with his son, and though it has helped, some of the behavior still continues.
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A member of the community asks:
“My fiancé’s son is mean to our daughter: Thoughts?
Hi. I have a daughter that will be 3-years-old in September. I’ve been in a relationship with my finance for like 3 years. He has a 15-YO son from a past relationship. I moved in with my investment when I was pregnant with my daughter, and we all have been living together since. My fiancé’s son has been mean to my daughter for the last few weeks. Like as soon as we leave them alone in the same room, he either pushes her down or does something else and blames it on her, trying to get her in trouble.
At night he would go in here and say something to scare her where she would come running to our bedroom crying. She can’t even open doors yet, and we close her door all the way shut after we put her to bed. My fiancé has had several talks with his son, and he stopped scaring her at night. But he still does stuff to her during the day when my financé leaves the room to go to the bathroom and while I’m at work.
We’ve been trying to not leave her alone with him for more than a minute, but it’s not easy. We think his son is jealous of the attention we give her. But she’s still a toddler and needs to be supervised constantly, and he doesn’t really get that. Any suggestions? We need advice.”
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Fiancé’s Teenage Son Is Cruel to Her Daughter
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Just reading this gives me a bad feeling. Red flags everywhere. Do not leave that child alone with the 15-year-old EVER. You will be to blame if something happens to her bc you know something isn’t right. She cannot protect herself.”
“I’d be more worried about the fact he is going into her room at night! At 15 years old it is not about attention. Something else. Get help and counseling for him asap! And put a camera or something in her room..baby monitor with camera..so you can monitor her room at night for safety!”
“He’s 15. That’s really bizarre behavior for someone that age to pick on a toddler. It’s scary and I would re-evaluate my living situation.”
“I would take my daughter and go somewhere else until that boy is put in therapy or punished or something. If he’s doing this at 15, it’s gonna get worse to where he may hurt her. Think about your daughter’s safety.”
“A 15-year-old is plenty old enough to know better than to bully a 3-year-old. There needs to be punishment for his actions. This teenager is being a jerk to a small child and that is not normal behavior. This needs to be addressed by a psychologist. His behavior is not about jealousy at that age. It’s something that needs to be addressed and treated. A 15-year-old has no reason to be bullying a small child like that.”
“Your child is in danger. Your fiancé’s son is immature and jealous but he is still a child. Your 3-year-old is being terrified. Don’t leave them alone.”
“Being that age and tormenting a 3-year-old seems really off to me. Idk, I’ve never been through that but I would talk to a doctor and see if there is something else going on???…
… He needs more than just a talking to, there needs to be a punishment, especially if he’s being physical with her, it might just be pushing her over now but it could get worse…
… If it is jealousy (doesn’t sound like it but idk) then have his dad take him out for someone in one time and see if that helps. But I would definitely be talking to a doctor or therapist…
I’m not one to jump to issues like that, but that seems very abnormal to me.”
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