One Reddit user is wondering if she’s being too sensitive after she heard her fiancé and his colleagues joking about him and his “work wife” during a remote meeting. As the woman began her post by revealing that she has known about his partner at work, who is a woman named Megan, for a while now.
The Reddit user said that because her fiancé and Megan have similar responsibilities within their company they often “need to work together as a team.” Prior to her fiancé working from home due to COVID-19, she admitted that she’s “never had any problems with this” because “they don’t really interact outside of work.”
But then came their weekly Zoom meeting, one of which she was in the living room with her husband to overhear.
“During that meeting, people began talking about what they wanted to do when everyone returned to the office. I could hear someone say that my fiancé and Megan must really miss each other. Several other people began referring to them as ‘work wife’ and work husband.’ Then someone suggested that my fiancé and Megan should ‘renew their vows’ when everyone is back in the office. Mark just played along and joked that they would be registered at Office Depot. I left the living room in tears while he continued, oblivious to how I was feeling.”
After the call was over, she confronted her future husband and admitted that she felt “humiliated.
“Our wedding was supposed to be in September but we’ve had to postpone it and it’s not clear when it will be safe to reschedule. And here he is talking about renewing his vows with someone from work? Mark explained that it was just joke and not a big deal. He tried to show me some joke article his office had been passing around about how teleworking is ruining work wife relationships. I said the term ‘work wife’ itself is offensive and humiliating because I’m supposed to be his wife.”
The Reddit user then demanded that her husband issue a public apology to her when he was on his Zoom call for work. She told him he needed to “tell them that he will NOT be ‘renewing his vows’ with Megan because he is ENGAGED to marry someone else.” She also said that he needed to tell his colleagues that “they need to stop calling him and Megan work spouses.”
Her fiancé told her that he would do that because it’s embarrassing and that it would ruin his reputation at work. “I said, ‘Oh, is it hard to feel embarrassed? I would never know what that’s like.’ He called me an a**hole.”
“Now that I’ve cooled down a little, I need to figure out if I overreacted.”
“ESH. I think the whole ‘work wife’ thing is disrespectful and silly, but you did overreact to what was obviously a joke,” one commenter wrote. “He’s not literally going to be renewing his vows with anyone or registering at Office Depot. And forcing him to tell everyone that they ‘need to stop calling him and Megan work spouses’ is going to make a mountain out of a molehill, and give everyone the impression that you’re a difficult person. Just ask him to stop joking about it.”
The Reddit user responded to the above comment saying, “No, they were actually planning out how to do it. Like where in the office to hold the ceremony and reception, etc. My fiancé was fully onboard planning. Meanwhile, I have to nag him constantly to help me reschedule our actual wedding plans.”
And while another commenter, who responded to her response, said she wasn’t an a**hole, she still overreacted. “n that case, not an asshole for asking that he don’t go through with it. But it would be embarrassing for him to publicly apologize and say he wouldn’t go through with it in front of everyone. Maybe ask him to talk to Megan separately and tell her its only a joke and that he won’t be doing a ‘ceremony.’”
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