We cannot get enough of the daily musings of Twitter queen and mom-of-four @MammaJessieC. Whether she’s battling the microwave or scaring her family with the threat of a sugar detox, we guarantee you’ll love her latest funny parenting tweets.
Jessie is keeping it real and we are here for it. We’ve pulled together her top 25 most hilarious parenting tweets for your enjoyment. The years are short, but the days are long. We might as well laugh together.
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25 Funny Parenting Tweets from @MommaJessieC
Just reading this makes us fearful for the backs of our ankles.
The Ultimate Quest
That feeling when they’re all sold out of 1″ notebooks and you’ve officially been defeated.
We’re pretty sure that blanket never made anyone laugh, right?
Those snacks contain some real fruit juice, correct?
We’re pretty sure you can fend for yourself today, kiddos. Mama Chef is taking the day off.
Don’t pay any attention to that basket of freshly washed and folded laundry, family! It will put itself away.
Suds and Stories
We also have the sudden urge to ask, “But why?” every three minutes.
No one is safe when mom is off the sugar. Run for your lives.
Bath and storytime, huh? Please just GTF to sleep.
Another Dad Joke
Don’t encourage this type of humor, friends.
Please send your thoughts and prayers to this dear child who is without her own cellular device.
Rock On, Mama
We like to get the family involved in all of our affairs to create a sense of community. So, watermelon or mango?
What is Time?
We know the, “Ummm I thought it was Friday” struggle.
Just when you think it’s safe to close your eyes, the hamster decides to make a run for it.
We’ve Been Fooled
Welcome to this life where there is no such thing as space and time.
Watch Out Grandma
No one is safe from a kiddo with a hose, so might as well stay away.
What About Mary
Isn’t it astounding how well they pay attention to detail?
You’re welcome for our services. Would you also like for us to set an alarm and push you out the door?
What A Burn
We’re not trying to be heroes here, so microwave it is!
Go ahead and shove a little cake in your mouth while multi-tasking, birthday queen.
It’s been a month full of LEGOs and Cheerios, apparently.
What type of wine brings out the flavor of bad decisions?
Power of Distraction
Let’s just keep kicking the can down the road, shall we?
Netflix and Chill
Is there anything hotter than a new series binge?
Bless this mess, mama.
Katie Nave is a freelance writer, producer, and mama living in Brooklyn, New York. Driven by her passion for storytelling, she is always seeking opportunities to elevate people who are working to better the world around them.
- 1 25 Funny Parenting Tweets from @MommaJessieC
- 1.1 Dangerous Territory
- 1.2 The Ultimate Quest
- 1.3 Our Legacy
- 1.4 Attention WebMD
- 1.5 Kitchen Closed
- 1.6 Laundry Wars
- 1.7 Suds and Stories
- 1.8 Detox Monster
- 1.9 Sweet Dreams
- 1.10 Another Dad Joke
- 1.11 Screen Deprivation
- 1.12 Rock On, Mama
- 1.13 What is Time?
- 1.14 Hamster Nightmares
- 1.15 We’ve Been Fooled
- 1.16 Watch Out Grandma
- 1.17 What About Mary
- 1.18 Fresh Ink
- 1.19 What A Burn
- 1.20 Happy Birthday?
- 1.21 Memory Lane
- 1.22 Merlot-Inspired Bangs
- 1.23 Power of Distraction
- 1.24 Netflix and Chill
- 1.25 We Surrender
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