One mom is running to Reddit’s AITA community, asking if she is in the wrong for telling off the grandparents ( her biological parents) after they had an issue with how her children’s dressed for a playdate.
“My parents and I have spent some time apart. I stopped speaking to them around 2011, and we got back in touch in 2018, when I sent them invitations to my wedding. I have 3 kids, ages 11, 7, and 5.”
“We’ve not seen my parents in person for a while due to current restrictions, but 2 weekends ago we were able to meet them. I felt the meeting was fine. However afterwards I texted them to say we should meet up again soon, suggesting this weekend. They said yes, but the response was very curt, and I felt they might be upset with me. I asked if something was wrong but they insisted it was fine.”
But things were not fine — in fact, her parents felt disrespected by her children’s “efforts in their appearances.”
“Fast forward to today, and we’re planning to meet up again tomorrow. I was confirming they were still good to meet and mum made some comment about making sure the kids put in an effort this time. I thought she was talking about their attitude so I called her to ask if my kids insulted her somehow, but she said that she meant appearance. She feels that last weekend, when my kids all showed up in trainers, jeans, and a hoodie, they were being disrespectful and not putting in the effort.”
The mom was in shock of the request and quickly shut her down.
“I said “mum they’re kids for fucks sake”. Mum maintained that there was a certain level of respect accompanying clothing and them wearing anything less than smart-casual was disrespectful, considering that she and my dad, as well as my husband and I, put in effort. I refused to even let her finish half of her sentences, saying I wouldn’t make my kids dress up to see them. Mum became frustrated and ended the call, but I then received a string of texts about how it would be nice if I could convince the kids to look nice when they see her, saying it’s not a lot to ask and it teaches good habits, and even if I wouldn’t do that, the absolute least I could have done was let her finish a sentence. I said she should say something else then, and she said I was being very rude by not letting her have an opinion and shutting her down like I did, and expects an apology.”
The OP also added: “I’m also unsure this is a generational thing, as my parents are only in their very early 50s (dad is 51, mum is 52) and I’ve just turned 28, so while there is a small generational gap, it’s nothing massive.”
One sser said: “What a “boomer” complaint. Ask if they liked no-contact better.”
While another commented: “It really demonstrates the relationship they want [with] their grandkids. “I don’t want you as you are, I want you curated and perfect in order to be valid in my eyes.” They don’t care about your family, they care about how your family makes them look. NTA, kids deserve to be loved unconditionally by the family members in their life, anything less they can do without.”
What do you think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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