Grey’s Anatomy’s Abigail Spencer Reflects On Turning 41, Reveals This Past Year ‘Almost Killed Me’

Grey’s Anatomy’s Abigail Spencer is getting real about the past year.

In an open letter shared on her Instagram page, Spencer shared a series of photographs alongside her son Roman and model coach J. Alexander. She also reflected on turning 41 and what the past year had taught her in terms of mental health and strength.

Grey’s Anatomy’s Abigail Spencer Reflects On Turning 41, Reveals This Past Year ‘Almost Killed Me’

“I don’t come here often to share personal stories about what’s really going on in my life. I use this space as more of a visual medium. A travel, style, work, celebratory, light-shiner, floral, art, friendships docuseries if you will,” she explained in the post, which was shared on her Instagram page on Thursday.

She went on to post why she felt she led to share with her fans on her 41st birthday.

“It’s my birthday. I’m feeling compelled to share a little more with you upon reflection of the past year as I set intentions & vision the next,” she wrote.

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“Last year for my 40th, I mentioned I took myself to Onsite, an emotional wellness retreat, for a week of intensive trauma therapy to look at myself more deeply. Get more healing & more tools to dance with the fullness of life. They say it’s the equivalent to 100 hours of therapy in a week. That week was radical & life-changing. I stepped into my 40th year feeling better than ever. Like I had plugged my tail bone into the sun. Ready to take on life come what may. And boy did it.”

“August 4th, 2021, I moved into the hardest year of my life. It almost killed me, and if I hadn’t been in training for my mind, body & spirit for & surrounded myself with the most incredible community of friends & healers, I do not believe I would have survived it,” she explained.

“I’m not going to get into the details of the events that brought about what I’m about to share, but I’ll tell you some of the emotional headlines of its effects.”

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Abigail described how she’d tackled various mental health challenges that ultimately manifested into physical side effects in comments added to her post.

“Stress almost took me out. I literally felt like my insides were being eaten by stress. I couldn’t get up off the floor some days. Fear & loss had gripped me. Anxiety would arrest me. In the fight of my life… Everything felt so hard,” she wrote.

“I cried so hard on multiple occasions that it led me to vomiting. I spent hours some days trembling while holding myself through the incessant distress. I didn’t leave the house for days. I couldn’t catch a breathe (sic). Everything felt so hard. At one point, I thought I was having a heart attack. I talked to a cardiologist & he said I wasn’t having a heart attack, that my heart was so broken & I needed to be held.” 


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