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QUESTION: How to move past lying in a relationship?
“I’ve been with my partner for about a year now; I recently found out I’m pregnant. Over the past few weeks, I had been doubting some things he was saying. Other people were saying different and even sending me proof. Eventually, I confronted him about lying to me about MAJOR things, like what’s going on with his kids from a previous relationship, being sick, looking for work, money, etc. Now he didn’t initially fess up; at first; he tried to turn it back on me for calling him a liar.
Eventually, he came clean about some things. He says now he’s honest about everything. But I am having trouble believing him. I guess my question is if someone comes clean about lying through your whole relationship, can you ever move past that? Or is it best to just move on? – we didn’t plan to get pregnant just yet, and I don’t want to do this alone.”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“If you take the baby out of the picture, would you stay? If not then don’t stay because of it, kids can tell when you’re unhappy and you just set an example of what they’re willing to accept in a relationship.”
“I stayed with my lying ex for the sake of our child and I wish I had just left when I was pregnant. It was a huge waste of a relationship. It will just get worse. Leave now and enjoy your baby without that added stress.”
“I don’t think I could stay. He didn’t tell you the truth because he felt guilty and wanted to make it right, he told the truth because he got caught. There’s a big difference. I think if he messed up, took responsibility and admitted his mistakes there might be a chance but I doubt you’ll ever be able to trust him again.”
“A liar will 99.99-percent of the time keep on lying.”
“Staying in a relationship just for the kids when there is problems is the worse thing you can do. If you feel like you can’t get past his lying then please leave. I was in a marriage for 12 years, we both weren’t happy and stayed together because we had kids. That was a mistake on both of our parts and in the end it’s the kids who suffer it’s not worth it.”
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