A mom writes in asking for advice because she’s just days away from her due date and there is tension between her, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend’s mom. The tension stems from a disagreement that led to her boyfriend’s mom saying she will start being a mom to them when they start treating her like a mom. The expectant mom doesn’t want to bring her child into any bad blood, but other family members are now telling her she will regret having the mom in the delivery room like they had originally planned. Any advice?
A member of the community asks:
“Hey mommies, I can have my baby any day now and can’t wait. However, there’s family tension between my boyfriend, myself, and his mom. Long story short, my boyfriend and his mom got into a disagreement. His mom then went on to say how she ‘will start doing mom things for us when we start treating her like a mom.’ My boyfriend isn’t super close to her, but we do see her occasionally and have included her during my whole pregnancy.
Her daughter had a child, and that is her sole focus ever since the baby was born, which I figured would happen, and that’s fine. She hasn’t put a lot of effort into bonding with us or getting excited for our child, which truly hurts my feelings. We are close to his aunt, and his mom is jealous of that. This is our first child, and we’re so excited! His mom has a unique personality that is hard to get along with, but we try our best.
She has said a lot of rude things with no remorse. She was supposed to be in the delivery room with us, but now I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m lucky, my boyfriend and his family understands how his mom is. His aunt told me I would regret having his mom in the delivery room. How would your moms deal with the situation? It makes me sad because I want to have a good relationship, but I don’t get any effort back.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Isn’t Sure If She Should Let Her Boyfriend’s Mom in the Delivery Room Following a Fight
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Life is too short to worry, according to some of Mamas Uncut’s community members. One commenter wrote, “Life is too short to try and make people like you. Tell her you changed your mind and uninvite her to the delivery. You don’t need that stress.”
Another mom said, “Sounds like she doesn’t respect you or her son. I would stand up to her as politely as possible and move on. You’re a mom now and the wife/girlfriend to her son; you take care of the family. She had her time. She respects your family or she doesn’t participate.”
And one person added, “If there is drama then don’t let her in the delivery room. When you go into labor, you want your room as stress-free as possible. You’re about to push out a baby!! You don’t need to worry about anyone else’s feelings but your own. If she doesn’t want to put in effort, then that is on her. Not you. She is the one that will miss out. Not you. You and your boyfriend have enough going on without her adding to the troubles. CONGRATULATIONS!!!”
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