How to Love a Woman Who Has Been to Hell and Back

how to love a woman who has been to hell and back | <p>it's hard for someone who has been betrayed to open their heart
and trust again, but the right person can tear down the wall that surrounds
their heart. </p>
<p>how to love
a woman who has been to hell and back</p>
<p>the woman who
has been to hell and back is not easy to love.</p>
<p>many have
tried. most have failed.</p>
<p>the weak need
not attempt, for it will take more strength than you even know you possess;
more patience, more resilience, more tenacity, more resolve. it requires a
relentless love, one that is determined and not easily defeated.</p>
<p>for the woman
who has been to hell and back will push you away. she will test you in her
desire to know what you are made of, whether you have what it takes to weather
her storm. because she is unpredictable—at times a hurricane, a force of nature
that rides on the fury of her suffering; other times a gentle rain, calm, still
and quiet.</p>
<p>when she is the
gentle rain that falls in time to her silent tears, love her.</p>
<p>when she is the
thunder and lightning and ferocious winds that wreak havoc, love her harder.</p>
<p>she is a
contradiction, a pendulum that will forever swing between fear of suffocation
and fear of abandonment, and even she will not know how to find the balance
between the two. because today, although she will never tell you, she will feel
insecure. she will want you to stay close, to tuck her hair behind her ear and
kiss her on her forehead and hold her in the strength of your arms. but
tomorrow she will crave her independence, her space, her solitude.</p>
<p>for a while you
have slept, she has been awake, unable to slow her thoughts, watching clocks
and chasing time, trying to make the broken pieces fit, to make sense of it
all—of where and how she fits. she fights her demons and slays her dragons,
afraid if she goes to sleep they will gain the upper hand, afraid if she goes
to sleep she will no longer be in control. tomorrow she will be tired, and your
presence will smother her. she will need only herself.</p>
<p>when she
reaches out to you, love her.</p>
<p>when she pushes
you away, lover her harder.</p>
<p>new situations
and places and people and experiences will make her anxious. she will be
fiercely independent and long to overcome her fears, all the while as terrified
as a small child alone in the big world. sometimes she will need to be
courageous, to prove to herself she has what it takes. other times she will
need you to take her hand and hold it firmly in yours. sometimes she may not
know what she needs, and you will need to read her like a book with worn pages
and a tattered spine and be what she needs when she does not know herself.</p>
<p>when she is
brave and steps into the world on her own, love her.</p>
<p>when she is
scared but refuses to take your hand, love her harder.</p>
<p>she will live
in fear of not being enough and always being too much—an endless battle to find
the middle ground. ashamed if the scale falls one way or the other, ashamed to
be herself for no one has ever loved her both when she is small and also when
she is tremendous.</p>
<p>when she feels
too much, love her.</p>
<p>when she feels
not enough, love her harder.</p>
<p>sometimes she
won’t hurt, and the light will shine from her eyes, and her laughter will be a
rare and precious melody. but sometimes she will hurt so much from the trauma
still in her body; she will ache, she will feel pain and anguish. the light
will grow dim, and the music will fade.</p>
<p>when she is the
light, love her.</p>
<p>when she is the
darkness, love her harder.</p>
<p>she will always
love you with caution, with one foot out the door. for she does not understand
love with no conditions, one that is powerful enough to withstand hard times.
she cannot allow herself to fully trust in your love, and she will keep parts
of her heart hidden—the parts that have been hurt the most, the parts she can’t
risk being hurt again when she has worked so hard to stitch them together.</p>
<p>she will always
watch, wait and expect you to leave first. and when you don’t, she has a truth
written upon her heart that says you will—it’s only a matter of time, for
everyone who loves her leaves her. and so she will seek to sabotage the
relationship; she will seek to destroy it, she will seek to leave first, she
will seek to hurt you before you can hurt her. this is how she stays in
control, this is how she survives, how she will ensure she will not get hurt
again.</p>
<p>when she wants
to love you, love her.</p>
<p>when she wants
to hurt you, love her harder.</p>
<p>being out of
control terrifies her. don’t ever make her feel powerless, trapped or without
her freedom. she needs to dance barefoot under enormous blue skies, to feel
sand between her toes, to run with wolves as the wind weaves magic through her
hair, for here is where her healing is found. never clip her wings, for if she
has the freedom to fly, she will always come back to you.</p>
<p>love her when
it’s easy, and love her harder when it’s not.</p>
<p>love her in a
way that will defy all she has ever known love to be.</p>
<p>love her
because you understand with every fiber of your soul the gift of her love, what
it has cost her to offer you her fragile heart.</p>
<p>she does not
need you. she has chosen you.</p>
<p>because you
have what it takes to survive the storm.</p>
<p>because even
when she doesn’t know how to love, you know how to love harder.</p>

It’s hard for someone who has been betrayed to open their heart and trust again, but the right person can tear down the wall that surrounds their heart. 

How to Love a Woman Who Has Been to Hell and Back

The woman who has been to hell and back is not easy to love.

Many have tried. Most have failed.

The weak need not attempt, for it will take more strength than you even know you possess; more patience, more resilience, more tenacity, more resolve. It requires a relentless love, one that is determined and not easily defeated.

For the woman who has been to hell and back will push you away. She will test you in her desire to know what you are made of, whether you have what it takes to weather her storm. Because she is unpredictable—at times a hurricane, a force of nature that rides on the fury of her suffering; other times a gentle rain, calm, still and quiet.

When she is the gentle rain that falls in time to her silent tears, love her.

When she is the thunder and lightning and ferocious winds that wreak havoc, love her harder.

She is a contradiction, a pendulum that will forever swing between fear of suffocation and fear of abandonment, and even she will not know how to find the balance between the two. Because today, although she will never tell you, she will feel insecure. She will want you to stay close, to tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her on her forehead and hold her in the strength of your arms. But tomorrow she will crave her independence, her space, her solitude.

For a while you have slept, she has been awake, unable to slow her thoughts, watching clocks and chasing time, trying to make the broken pieces fit, to make sense of it all—of where and how she fits. She fights her demons and slays her dragons, afraid if she goes to sleep they will gain the upper hand, afraid if she goes to sleep she will no longer be in control. Tomorrow she will be tired, and your presence will smother her. She will need only herself.

When she reaches out to you, love her.

When she pushes you away, lover her harder.

New situations and places and people and experiences will make her anxious. She will be fiercely independent and long to overcome her fears, all the while as terrified as a small child alone in the big world. Sometimes she will need to be courageous, to prove to herself she has what it takes. Other times she will need you to take her hand and hold it firmly in yours. Sometimes she may not know what she needs, and you will need to read her like a book with worn pages and a tattered spine and be what she needs when she does not know herself.

When she is brave and steps into the world on her own, love her.

When she is scared but refuses to take your hand, love her harder.

She will live in fear of not being enough and always being too much—an endless battle to find the middle ground. Ashamed if the scale falls one way or the other, ashamed to be herself for no one has ever loved her both when she is small and also when she is tremendous.

When she feels too much, love her.

When she feels not enough, love her harder.

Sometimes she won’t hurt, and the light will shine from her eyes, and her laughter will be a rare and precious melody. But sometimes she will hurt so much from the trauma still in her body; she will ache, she will feel pain and anguish. The light will grow dim, and the music will fade.

When she is the light, love her.

When she is the darkness, love her harder.

She will always love you with caution, with one foot out the door. For she does not understand love with no conditions, one that is powerful enough to withstand hard times. She cannot allow herself to fully trust in your love, and she will keep parts of her heart hidden—the parts that have been hurt the most, the parts she can’t risk being hurt again when she has worked so hard to stitch them together.

She will always watch, wait and expect you to leave first. And when you don’t, she has a truth written upon her heart that says you will—it’s only a matter of time, for everyone who loves her leaves her. And so she will seek to sabotage the relationship; she will seek to destroy it, she will seek to leave first, she will seek to hurt you before you can hurt her. This is how she stays in control, this is how she survives, how she will ensure she will not get hurt again.

When she wants to love you, love her.

When she wants to hurt you, love her harder.

Being out of control terrifies her. Don’t ever make her feel powerless, trapped or without her freedom. She needs to dance barefoot under enormous blue skies, to feel sand between her toes, to run with wolves as the wind weaves magic through her hair, for here is where her healing is found. Never clip her wings, for if she has the freedom to fly, she will always come back to you.

Love her when it’s easy, and love her harder when it’s not.

Love her in a way that will defy all she has ever known love to be.

Love her because you understand with every fiber of your soul the gift of her love, what it has cost her to offer you her fragile heart.

She does not need you. She has chosen you.

Because you have what it takes to survive the storm.

Because even when she doesn’t know how to love, you know how to love harder.

About Mamas Uncut

Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.

.

Leave a Comment