Husband Calls Her Baby Name Choice 'Abuse,' Asks For Advice

Husband Calls Mom’s Baby Name Choice ‘Abuse’ But She Doesn’t Take No For An Answer

A mom-to-be recently took to Reddit asking the interwebs if she was in the right for sticking to family tradition and naming her firstborn Gaylord despite her husband calling it “abuse.”

The new mom, 24, is due with her son in August and as it will be the first grandchild on her side of the family, she feels his name will be of the utmost importance.

“In my family, our genealogy is extremely important,” she wrote on Am I The Ass—-. “The firstborn son since the 1800s has been given this name.”

Husband Calls Her Baby Name Choice 'Abuse,' Asks For Advice
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“The name is Gaylord.” And while she is “well aware” that the name carries a stigma, the poster felt that as a compromise, her son will go by Gail in school and with his friends “so that he doesn’t have to deal with bullies.” 

While at first, her family didn’t love the idea of the nickname as they wanted to keep things traditional, the OP “wore them down and they have agreed and don’t seem too offended by this.”

“They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become,” she went on. “When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name.”

Husband Calls Her Baby Name Choice 'Abuse,' Asks For Advice
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She even convinced her husband of the nickname, and he was on board with it at the time.

About a year ago, she told him that they would only put Gaylord on the birth certificate “and asked him if he was on board for naming our first son Gail.”

“I remember, he kind of chuckled and said, ‘Sure,’ and that was the end of it,” she recalled. “I thought it was settled.”

But now, he’s saying that he never agreed to the name and thought his wife was kidding.

Husband Calls Her Baby Name Choice 'Abuse,' Asks For Advice
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And after informing her in-laws about their grandson’s possible controversial name — the entire family is on edge.

Now, her husband refuses to discuss the name and his family is pressuring her to pick another name.

“I now have his whole family hounding me and overreacting, telling me it would be abusive even when we’d just be calling him Gail,” she went on. “My mother told me my MIL has called her to scream at her over the phone.”

Her in-laws informed her she needed to “‘get with the times ‘and choose something more appropriate.'” They also sent over a list of “approved” names — “which is incredibly offensive to me.”

Husband Calls Her Baby Name Choice 'Abuse,' Asks For Advice
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“Not to mention they were trendy names that would never stand the test of time,” she added.

The mom admits she is between a rock and a hard place. While her husband’s family is vehemently against the name, the mom feels like he just doesn’t get the pressure to uphold tradition.

“How could I be expected to break a centuries-old family tradition?” she asked. “Are we really going to let immature homophobia dictate what we can and can’t do?”

What do you think? Comment below what you think she should do!

3 thoughts on “Husband Calls Mom’s Baby Name Choice ‘Abuse’ But She Doesn’t Take No For An Answer”

  1. Hi. In this day and age Gaylord is not a good name. You may be happy with the name, but will your son when he gets beat up and bullied over that name. You cannot use a nickname such as Gail because his real name will be found out. It will get to the point that your son will make up excuses to not go to school. Neither of your in-laws are having the boy or permanently live with him. Not only do you and your husband need to be happy with the name, your son does. He has to go through life with that name which neither of your or either of your in-laws will have to. It would be a shame if later in life your son turns to drugs or commits suicide over the bulling he will get. You said that one of the in-laws came up with trendy names. It is not anyone’s decision what to name him except you and your spouse. If your in-laws don’t like the name, who cares? They don’t have to live with it, but both of you will have to live with whatever your son is forced to go through because of his name. He will blame both of you. There will never be peace and love in your house and your son may become rebellious against both of you over his name. If you want to see your son make something wonderful of his life, please do not name him Gaylord. Be smart and do the right thing for your son.

  2. You know what? Name your child Gaylord. No matter what you name your child someone is going to have something to say about it. I like the name BTW. It has nothing to do with gay people. You can always just use a nickname and have all his teachers use it instead. When he gets older, he can decide what he wants to be called. I bet he sticks with the family tradition, which will give him a strong sense of belonging.
    p.s. You don’t need to call your child Gail for a shortened version either. Peoples whose names are William for instance are either called Will or Bill. The other Idea I had for consideration was give him a middle name and use that. You have a strong family name. Don’t give it up for some nay sayers.

  3. Many families face this issue. One fairly widespread practice is to use the contested name as a middle name, such as, John Gaylord Smith. That way, you have honored your family tradition while also meeting you spouse’s concerns.

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