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QUESTION: I found out my husband has been cheating with my best friend: Advice?
“I got married a week ago and found out that we were pregnant. I was over the moon and thought that my husband was too. Come to find out; he has been hooking up with my best friend, who was also my maid of honor. My husband’s phone was going off in the middle of the night, and it was her.
There were nude photos of her; explicit messages exchanged between both of them; they even hooked up the day before we got married. Since I called him home on it, my husband changed his Facebook relationship to single; he has been telling me this baby is not his, my best friend has been ignoring me, and I am at a loss. A week ago I was so happy, and now my world is shattered. How do I get through this?”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“First off, I’m sorry this happened to you. I understand your pain and I’m gonna be real, have a tattoo that means ‘you must face setbacks in order to move forward toward better things.’ This sucks, no doubt about it, but don’t forget to move forward. Leave him and her behind and concentrate on taking care of yourself and the baby. This will damage you, not going to lie.
Anyone you are going to be with from now on is going to have to deal with your struggles. You will be anxious and suspicious of everything. But take your time and find someone that understands that you were hurt and can’t really help it; someone that will love your child like their own. They are out there. And remember, there are always people out there that have gone through it – reach out to them.”
“Tell them you hope they’re happy together, then get a paternity test, sue your husband for a divorce, and take half of your joint assets. Hopefully, get alimony, and definitely get child support. He needs to learn that if you play, you pay. It’s not about revenge. It’s about him taking responsibility for his actions. He has altered your life, and that baby’s life, forever.
It’s a tough thing to go through emotionally, but you need to look out for yourself and your baby’s future. He promised to be your partner through life when he married you. Marriage is a contract. Your husband knowingly broke that contract before he ever signed it, and he still signed it. Your responsibility is to take care of you so that you can take care of your baby.”
“Get an annulment, kick him out, and change the locks, once the baby is born file for full custody and child support. Get away from them asap. You do not need that in your life. I’m so sorry you are going through this.”
“Trust me when I say this is a blessing. You will be happy with your baby, toss them aside, and say you don’t need them; you are way better than them. If you need a new best friend I’m here. It’s going to suck, hurt and sting like hell right now but you can not change cheaters or lying best friends anyone who does that to you is not husband material or your best friend.
So trust me when I say move, move on even though it will hurt, move forward, get an annulment for your marriage, and if he doesn’t want to be the father then let him walk away but show him you can do this on your own without him, that your husband is a coward. You are so loved and you didn’t do anything wrong or deserve this at all! If you need someone to talk to I am here.”
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