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QUESTION: Can I Ask My Husband Not to Come Home Every Day for Lunch?
“Is it wrong for me to ask my husband not to come home every day for lunch?
We have the same lunch hour, and some days I just want to turn up the music and relax and clean. When he comes home, he eats and just looks at his phone.
I work two jobs, so some days that hour is all I have to myself. Is it wrong to ask for even a day a week?”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“I’m sorry but what? Lol. Why does him sitting on his phone affect your peace of mind?”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be alone for a little bit sometimes… being cooped up, day in and day out, with the spouse… working the same schedules… having the same lunch… etc. That gets ‘ordinary.’ It’s okay to want to leave some room to miss a person. IDK. My opinion. He can have lunch at his job at times, and other times he can have lunch at his home.”
“That’s his home too. So yes, you’re essentially telling him he’s not welcome in his home.”
“Go eat in your car if you want to be alone. Or better yet don’t get married. But don’t tell the man he can’t come to his own mf house for lunch.”
“If my partner and i were both home for lunch, I can tell you what I would be doing and it isn’t the cleaning…”
“Well it is his house too. If he wants to come home for lunch then he can do so. Not sure why you can’t relax, clean and listen to music while he is there. If he is just on his phone then he’s not stopping you. Unless you’re trying to hide something.”
“It is a bit selfish that you’d try and dictate where he goes for his lunch break I mean he lives there too? He may enjoy being home for his break yeno? Why don’t you chill in another room or something?”
“It’s both yours and his house. He is allowed to go home on his lunch break just like you do. What he does on his lunch break and what you choose to do on yours is fine. I would be upset if my partner felt this way about me.”
“My partner comes home for lunch every day, my youngest son and I always look forward to it and any time I get to spend with my partner is a bonus. I don’t understand how you can feel that way towards your husband…”
“Why don’t you not come home for lunch every day? Go hit up a park, throw your headphones in, etc. I completely understand wanting that time to yourself but it sounds like it’s your issue and not his.”
“Why can’t you do that when he’s there? Just pretend you’re alone and blast your music. I’m sure there’s more than one room in the house he can go play on his phone in.”
“Ignore the noise! I know exactly how you feel… I’ve been in your exact situation and so, no, you are not wrong for feeling this way. That hour really makes a difference! I talked to my husband and he understood, and, man, I swear he just said that he felt that our relationship even got better because I had that hour! So ignore the noise that the haters don’t understand and talk to him.”
“What I am reading is that it bugs you that your husband comes home on his breaks from work and occupies himself with things that you find irrelevant. It seems like there is some expectation you have of him, hence your frustration – why not express expectations with him and see if you both can be on the same page? See if he has frustrations/expectations as well? (I’m sure he does). I do think it would be inappropriate to ask him not to come to his own home on his lunch break. However, I do think it would be completely appropriate for you to problem-solve with him to see how you can make both of your lunch breaks mutually pleasant .”
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