A woman writes in asking for advice about her husband. She says she walked in her husband pleasuring himself while watching adult movies two years ago. Since then, she says, he does this every time he goes to the bathroom. She has tried to talk to him about it, but he will not engage. This behavior bothers this woman, but she wants to know if she’s overreacting. Thoughts?
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A member of the community asks:
“Am I overreacting about my husband watching adult movies?
My SO and I have been together for three years. About 2 years ago, I walked into our bedroom to him pleasuring himself to adult movies (he didn’t know I was home). He now does this in the bathroom every time he’s in there (while pooping).
Has anyone else ever dealt with this? I have brought it up to him a couple of times, but he will not talk about it, which I don’t blame him… it’s an awkward topic. It does bother me & I’m not sure if I should be upset or if I’m overreacting. Any input is appreciated.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Woman Who Is Concerned About Her Husband Watching Adult Movies
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this woman in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this woman in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“It is an addiction plain and simple. There are actual studies on how it affects the brain. It literally numbs the center of the brain in charge of compassion and empathy. Feel free to message me if you have more questions. I know most don’t agree with me and will even put me down for how I view it. So I don’t want to say too much on here and get bashed. But adult movies are not healthy no matter how our society has portrayed them. Good luck sweetie.”
“Can’t stand it!! To think your man is getting aroused by someone else makes me feel sick! But everyone is different. Personally, it would bother me big time.”
“The only part of this whole post that I personally would have a problem with, and even then it’s not that big of a deal, is that he does it while pooping lol.”
“Adult movies are cheating. They shouldn’t be needed when you’re in a committed, loving relationship. Period.”
“Is he not allowed to touch himself without asking you first? Controlling much?”
“No matter what anyone says. Not ALL men do it and just being a man is not an excuse to do something your partner is uncomfortable with. Period. And it is completely OK to not like your man watching adult movies.”
“This may be a little tasteless for some of y’all but my man asked me to allow him to record ‘us’ doing things in the bedroom so he has his own little collection of our adult movies to watch whenever he wants. I actually thought it was a fun creative way to bring us closer. But if he wanted to watch other movies I wouldn’t object. I think it’s normal for the most part.”
“I personally don’t allow my boyfriend to because it makes me feel bad about myself, but if it really bothers you, try to talk to him about it. Let him know it upsets you.”
“My ex did that but he hid washcloths/socks what have you in couch cushions and whatnot when he was done. We were intimate a lot so it’s not like he wasn’t getting any. It mutilated my self-esteem to the point after 3 years I left him. Try talking to him about it and see if you get anywhere. I, unfortunately, did not.”
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