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QUESTION:
“Help! I’m at a total loss. My seven-year-old keeps acting out, not listening, and back talking. Her attitude is horrendous. We have tried a few punishment techniques, but nothing phases her. I’m now to the point of being stressed about it that I’m having health problems. I don’t eat much, don’t drink much, and can’t sleep. My stomach hurts to the touch, and I feel sick constantly. Can anyone share with me some discipline techniques you use?“
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Look up 1 , 2 , 3 magic. It’s an amazing discipline plan. Works amazing with defiant kids. There’s also another book called ” my defiant child” highly recommended by our therapist and psychiatrist.”
“The most important part of parenting is [consistency]!!! Don’t make threats you won’t follow through with. If you make a threat follow through. Always follow through. Watch supper nanny on youtube!!”
“Connection and healing is key. Punishment doesn’t HELP the root of the problem. Punishment is a bandaid.”
“Our Therapist had us stop responding to our daughter when she acted out. When she realized the attention she was seeking was not going to come the tantrums got shorter and stopped. I remind her when she talks back that I do not speak to her that way and she shouldn’t be doing it to me. If there is something she won’t listen to I try to re-approach it in a different way. My daughter is 8 and is testing boundaries. Its really a difficult time but definitely stand your ground.”
“Highly recommend the book “how to talk so kids will listen.””
“Maybe she needs someone to talk to ? Get down to the root of the problem. Maybe she needs some connection ? A one on one? Spanking is not the answer I promise you. Back talking may get worse and she may get frustrated and can lead to worse behavior. Talking by my own experience growing up.”
“Take her to a nutritionist. Talk to her doctor too. There’s always an underlying causes to why people act the way that they do.”
“How to Have a New Kid by Friday and Birth Order Book by Kevin Lehman were really helpful. Also Love and Logic book. We had a blended family of 10 and a few acted like that.”
“I had to do extreme timeouts. Put them in a place where they can’t see the TV or you. Walk by them like they aren’t there. If the child is 7 start with 7 minutes. At the end of the time sit down with them ask them why they are in trouble if they can’t tell you tell them you love them and start over. You aren’t being mean but you must demand respect and require they know why they are in trouble.”
“Hugs. I would make sure that nothing drastically changed in his life. Such as a new teacher or different relationships within the household, new friends. Also he may be frustrated because people aren’t understanding him. I will check to see if there’s something going on inside of him if he has any type of issues such as ODD. I would do positive parenting. Try to stay calm, low voice when you speak to him. When someone’s being aggressive toward someone and if they react the same way it will just escalate the situation and no good will come out of it.”
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