I am insecure after having kids: Advice?

So I just had another baby this is my 3rd child after I had my first child I’ve been insecure so bad. I’m to the point I argue with my husband because of my insecurities we could be watching a movie together and if it has an attractive female in it that has cleavage showing or they have sex in it I get in a bad mood towards him and feel he wishes I was her. I am so insecure I need help. Has anyone else felt this insecure, and how did u fix it?

367 thoughts on “I am insecure after having kids: Advice?”

    1. Honest? How is telling someone who has some serious insecurities and issues going on to grow up honest? I feel bad for your husband for marrying such a bitch..

    2. Haley Hillebrand no being rude is not helpful because the message is not heard only your rudeness. Everyone has insecurities some worse than others but she needs therapy.

    3. Haley Hillebrand is right. She’s an adult. Adults should be able to handle advice, especially when asked, without sugar…. Jesus, everybody freak out cause no one can handle the truth.

    4. Stephanie Bandy it wasn’t rude and I appreciate you pointing that out. Everyone is quick to say therapy therapy when the only thing she needs to do is be reasonable.

    5. ???????? rude? I never said she had a bad marriage? Looks pretty happy to me? I SAID I feel bad for her husband, because she said “if my husband acted that way I would leave him”.. but thanks for putting in your two cents 😉

    6. Haley Hillebrand meh everybody is too soft these days.cant say nothing without them crying like little girls and running to therapy or meds ..???????? its life !

    7. Well that’s wonderful! Every man should. But we all have flaws. I wasnt trying to be a bitch I’m just saying some of us struggle alot more then others. Me being one of them. I just deal with it on my own instead of asking for advice cause of people that say “grow up”.

    8. She needs advice. Not meds, not therapy, after having kids not everyone bounces back as easily. And shes asking for help. NOT people saying grow up and get over it.

    9. If my husband got into a bad mood and treated me crappy because he saw a guy on tv who was attractive I would leave. Because it’s insane to treat someone poorly because of the fact your body looks different after you age and have kids.

    10. I gave her advice. She needs to grow up before her husband leaves her. Her body won’t look the same after have kids. Mine doesnt lol it’s LIFE. It sucks but you have to get over it????‍♀️

    11. I agree that her husband will probably leave her eventually over it if she doesnt find some way to love herself again. But putting it the way it was worded is rude, she sounds very insecure and depressed and the last thing anyone needs to be told is to get over it because im sure if she knew how she would have a long time ago. She needs someone to talk to and help her. Not make her feel worse for not being able to bounce out of it.

  1. Oh momma, I’m sorry your feeling this way.
    I understand it.
    Your body will never again be a pre-baby body, so release that idea, please.
    What you have now is the body of a woman who can create miracles!
    If your partner is showing attraction to you, try to disempower your concerns.
    Have you considered some counseling in the subject?
    You could be going through a form of post partum.
    Love and light to you.
    I pray you find the beauty and sensuality you desire within this miraculous new physical form. ????

    1. Sheshona Shay no one is just stuck with a body that they don’t want to have unless they have some extream physical disabilities. Many of my friends who have children ended up why fitter and slimmer after they had their 3rd child . It’s totally possible to get your desired body if you work for it. If you are happy and fine the way it is awsome too.

    2. Selena Topham it is very possible to get into shape and become a healthier person. But, no ones body will EVER be what it was before they had children. You must not have kids yet or you would understand….

    3. This is really beautiful advice and it really makes me sad how there is always someone who wants to argue over absolutely nothing. Thank you for being so kind to a complete stranger, it warms my heart because it’s so rare these days.

    4. Selena Topham honey, I breastfed, had no car, used cloth diapers, walked a mile 1 way to laundromat and had my body back quick.
      That is not those point of my statement at all. Nor is it what I’m responding to.

  2. I would suggest talking with a therapist if you can. Insuecurites like that can definitely ruin a relationship, especially if he isn’t commenting on stuff or outright looking. Have you talked to him about your insecurities? Maybe he could help you through them as well. I am a bit insecure myself but not in that fashion. Best of luck.

  3. Relax girl. 3 babies it’s obvious he loves you/ your body and changes are normal. Take it day by day. When you’re 80, saggy and wrinkly he will still love you. Communication is key.

  4. Yea something isn’t right with that if you just automatically get angry with him over hot girls in movies.. go talk to a therapist. I’m even insecure as fuck but I don’t get mad at my SO cause there’s a hot chick on the TV now if she’s looking at other chicks all the time then yea ima get mad.

  5. It will get better with time. I went through this too. Focus on doing something that makes you feel better about yourself or doing something you really enjoy. Also understand there is SOO much more to who you are than the way you look! Work on distinguishing fleeing thoughts in your mind from reality. Even if your husband thinks someone else is physically attractive doesn’t mean he thinks you aren’t. Trust me …I have been there, it all boils down to learning to accept and truly love yourself. You will get through this… And just ignore other peoples rude ass comments. They can’t understand something they haven’t been through.

    1. Julia Elizabeth Morgado Have you seen SOA or Magic Mike? I used those actors specifically because they have been in sexualized roles. You see Charlie Hunnams whole ass in SOA

  6. I felt really insecure after I had my first…and third sons. (Not to the extent that your at ) but it eventually just passed for me. I just got use to the fact that my body changed ( and my hormones returned to normal ???? )… Obviously my body has changed…. but me as a person, is the same.. probly better! Especially cuz now I have 3 beautiful boys ????…. You should probably start focusing on the good in your relationship and yourself. It’ll get better as time goes on.

  7. You gotta understand that every woman is different ,you can’t compare yourself with somebody from the tv or even in person , you are beautiful the way you are , talk to him if he loves he will understand for sure

  8. She doesn’t need to ‘grow up’. This isn’t a problem with her being immature. She needs professional help.
    You need professional help lady. Go talk to someone /with someone, and try to figure out what you can do to try to lessen your feelings about your insecurities. You’re husband chose your to have babies with. You know, I think I’m pretty, I know my husband thinks I’m about the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, but I also know there are way prettier women out there. And he’ll see them…. But they won’t be me. (4 kids here, 1st ones were twins) Your body isn’t the only thing that makes you, you. You are a whole package, and the physical body isn’t even a big part of that. Talk with someone before you’re relationship is ruined because of something neither of you can change.

  9. Do something to make yourself feel better! Get a new hair look, or buy some Clothes, or get your nails done, or start a exercise routine! Rock that body and love it! This is your life you own it! If you don’t feel happy in your own skin do small changes to make yourself happier!

  10. A lot of y’all are rude af. Being insecure isn’t caused by immaturity and it’s not as easy as just “relaxing.”

    To the poster: I’m sorry for the rude comments. Please know that you may not look like them, but they dont look like them either. They have professional makeup artists and hair stylists and Photoshop and editors and professional camera men all working to make them look like that. In the real world, they look a lot like you. Messy hair, blemishes, tummy pouch. Not to mention that even if he wanted them, I doubt your husband is Channing Tatum. They live far away and are always traveling for work. He won’t have a chance to get with them. Even more, personalities play a huge role in attraction. He loves you for much more than your body.

    Hugs and love

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