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QUESTION: I am pregnant and will most likely be raising my baby alone: Advice?
“I am helpless and don’t know what to do. I am 3 months pregnant with my first child. When I told my partner about it, he said I should have an abortion because we are not financially stable and we do not have much to offer to our child. I told him I would never do that, everything went fine until we argued about money, and he was blaming me every time. He told me that it was all my fault because if only I had aborted it, we wouldn’t face problems and situations like this.
Obviously, he doesn’t want us. And now I am sleep-deprived because I am having anxiety and couldn’t even eat. I love this tiny baby inside of me, but it will be so hard for me to raise my child alone. I am afraid that I might not raise my baby well, and of course, he will grow up without a father, and I’m not even sure if I can provide for both of us. But I really want my baby. I want us to be together. What do you think is the best thing to do?”
Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Don’t get rid of the baby! You are so strong! Please make sure you take care of yourself too in this pregnancy!! Baby feels what you feel. There’s tons of places you can get support from, parenting programs, moms groups, diaper program, childcare programs, etc. If you truly don’t think you can can give him/her the best life open adoption is wonderful. Do you have any family in the area or friends?”
“I’m raising my daughter alone and went through my pregnancy alone and I promise you can do it. It can be hard but it’s worth it. I promise. There are government programs to get assistance with childcare and food and even housing. Being a mother is the GREATEST thing I’ve ever done and nothing compares to her little kisses and smile. Motherhood changed my life and I promise you can do it alone.”
“Keep the baby, especially if that is what YOU want. You will be surprised when things work out and you make ends meet. It’ll be fine.”
“Honestly, it’s easier to raise a baby alone than it is with someone who is miserable about the idea and doesn’t want to be there, you’re basically alone in that situation. There are programs out there to help moms with finances, food stamps, places to live even until you get on your feet. You can do it!”
“Seek Medicaid and WIC. Government assistance will help with the cost of having the child and with formula. They help with prenatal visits also. You can do this even if the dad doesn’t want any part in it. Seek support from family and friends. Leave him ASAP.”
“You are stronger than you think. Lean on the Lord he will never leave you. Reach out to the housings projects and food stamps, WIC, etc. There is help out there for you and your unborn child. Good luck and God bless you.”
“Get yourself into an income-based apartment. Get on the list now because they take a long time. Apply for section 8 also. Go to your local FSA office and apply for food stamps and any assistance you can get. Find yourself a job, or enroll in college. You can make it work.”
“I had a baby while making minimum wage. It was tough but now I am quite successful in life with a thriving 5 year old. It will be tough but you can do it!”
“Start searching now for assistance you can get. There are plenty of churches and other agencies that offer assistance for you and the baby. But not for him.”
“I’m sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you will be doing this alone and you need to understand this will be the case. Apply for government programs and lean on people for support to help you through. Do you have family? Once you see if you qualify for programs for food and such, you can see if you can financially support this baby. If not, there’s always open adoption if you don’t have a family member to help out. I wish you and your sweet baby many blessings. This child didn’t come into your life for no reason. Follow your heart on what to do.”
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