One young user is asking reddit if they are in the wrong for standing their ground when it comes to their savings account.
“My (16f) class missed out on our school trip this year because of the pandemic. It happens. But they promised us next year we would get it as a makeup. I started saving when this was confirmed back in April. I don’t have it all saved but I have a good portion started.”
“My parents both lost their jobs due to the pandemic. They’re currently in other jobs but making far less. This means less money than before. Pair that with they already struggled to afford five kids and the fact I was always made take the hits so my siblings wouldn’t go without and well, it’s now a reality that they can’t afford four school trips. My parents found out I had saved for mine and told me if I shared it all out between my younger siblings they could all go on their trips and I would be a good sister. I said no. That they could figure something out or they could teach them to take one for the team like I always had to.”
The OP continued that they felt like everyone was villainizing them.
“My 13-year-old sister heard everything, told the others and now everyone in the house is saying I should give it to my siblings and that I’m mean and selfish for not.”
“This will be my first class trip since I was 7. I actually get to go because I work now and can save for it myself. I know it’s hurting my siblings feelings but I feel like I deserve something good too.”
One user said: “I smell parentification and it is pungent. OP, you saved your money, it is not your job to spend YOUR money on your siblings. You have had to sacrifice plenty in the name of being “a good older sibling” and that’s not what being a good sibling means. Being a good older sibling means being kind to your younger siblings, not sacrificing everything for their happiness. Your happiness matters just as much as theirs, keep your money and go on your trip.”
“They can wait until they can help afford their own trips or until your parents are in a better financial place to afford it for them,” the user shard. “You are being treated like your wants and needs come last and they don’t, plain and simple. Your needs and wants are equally important, especially in this case because you worked hard to earn this trip and to earn your own money.”
While another commented: “NTA. Look I was that kid growing up. I went without birthdays, gifts, etc so my younger siblings could have nice things. And I HATED it. I developed a deep hatred for birthdays and Christmases because of it. No sweet 16th or 18th or 21st for me. Whilst all my siblings got exactly that and phones, tech etc. And honestly? It’s wrong.”
“I get struggling with money but your money is YOURS. You’ve not had a trip since you were seven for Christ’s sake. And you’re only getting one now because you’re saving for it. Your parents shouldn’t be sacrificing one kid for the others. I’m not wealthy by aaaaany stretch of the imagination and I have three, soon to be four, children. I work my A** off and go without to make sure every single one of them gets a good bday/Christmas. I go out of my way to make sure my eldest two don’t have to sacrifice for the younger because I think it’s just wrong to do that.”
What do YOU think?
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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