A daughter finds herself at Reddit‘s popular AITA thread to ask an important question: is she an a****** for cutting off her dad’s secret second family?
“My (19F) dad (50M) has been having a long-term affair with a woman for over a decade. Their relationship began while he was married to my mom and he stayed with her even while he dated and was engaged to a different woman after my parent’s divorce. I don’t think his latest ex ever knew about her but I’m not sure.”
“She has a kid although it isn’t his, which I do believe. I knew about his affair long ago and after a big fight basically said I never want to hear about her again or have anything to do with it and then I’d be fine.”
The OP (original poster) went on to explain that she came to terms with the affair and was settled about it, with a few exceptions…
“This went okay for a decent amount of time, he would go on ‘work trips’ and all but I never asked questions and he never shared and I was honestly fine being in the dark about it. I never approved, and he knew this, but I let him live his life so long as I was never brought into it.”
Until he made her an awkward offer.
“He tells me today he has invited them out to visit (I still live at home right now) and would love for me to be polite while they’re here. I told him absolutely not, that I would go to a friend’s house for the duration of their visit but I would not be seeing them at all.”
And the OP had good reason to, as she had met this woman prior and they did not exactly get along.
“That woman caused a lot of trauma during my childhood and aided in my parent’s divorce and I don’t condone women who knowingly are the other woman. I never want to see her and I made that clear. I said he can live his life as he wants but I will not be dragged into that.”
And to no one’s surprise, her dad did NOT like that answer….
“He was p*****, went off on me saying it’s his life and I’m the child here so his day is what goes. He ended by saying to lose his number and honestly that would be fine with me if he would throw away his actual child for this other family, I want nothing to do with that. AITA for telling him a hard pass on playing happy family with his affair family?”
The OP added the following edit, explaining a correction: “I’ve replied to a few of the ‘YTA for lying about this based on past posts’ but I’ll put it here too. I’m 19. My bf is 22. The old post says I’m 22, I typed my bf’s age twice and couldn’t make edits once the post was made since it’s in the title. Hope this helps clear that up.”
One user said: “NTA, I know [he] is your father but honestly do you really want this person in your life?”
While another commented: “NTA. You do not have to let this man have his cake and eat it, too. It’s about time there’s consequences for his selfish choices.”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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