I want a divorce but my husband doesn’t: Advice?

I’ve been with my now-husband for almost ten years in January. (since I was 15) We had our first kid at 17 together, got married at 18 then had another kid. We’ve been married for six years, but for a while I have been so resentful and just can’t stand anything he does or says or ANYTHING!! He knows how I feel, I’ve tried asking for a divorce… but he wants to keep trying every time. I always tell him we will, and we do. But this time I’m just so tired of the ups and downs. It’s not just that; he’s always been very controlling; it will never admit it. He hides my clothes he doesn’t like, gets mad when I do things without him, etc etc….. lots are BS I’ve delay with I feel like I’ve wasted so much time now:( Here’s my problem I have been a stay at home mom the whole time we’ve been together, (just had our third child 18 months ago) and I have no support besides him. What are my options? In the past, when I’ve asked for a divorce, he says he’s keeping the house and wants 50/50 custody of this kids… yada yada.. he gets very mean when it’s not going his way and says this thing. I feel so stuck… any advice will help. thanks, mamas!!

1,321 thoughts on “I want a divorce but my husband doesn’t: Advice?”

  1. If he’s a good father he should have 50/50 custody. Just because you two don’t work doesn’t mean he shouldn’t get equal time with them. If you want a divorce you’ve just got to go for it and file.

    1. Cathy Anderson I agree with you 100%. She’s going to have to get a job so she can support the kids. As for the father as long as he’s not abusing the kids he should get 50/50 custody of them. It’s not their fault you two didn’t work out.

    2. Sarah Louise yes of course get a job kids aren’t free and it’s both of there job to pay for them . Everything gets split including childcare costs . When you jump in and do this it will be crazy hard but 6 months later …. a year later … 2 years ..easier, better good luck!

    3. It’s not as simple as getting a job. I was 16 when I had my first child very similar to her. I’ve applied for jobs ever since even at fish and Chip shops and since I have never had a job in my life and everyone else has experience I never get a call back or chance. I’m 23 now and still nothing.

  2. Find the closest family services program near you and talk to a counselor about that they can refer you for one free session possibly to speak to an attorney and you can find out what your state laws are but don’t let him bully you anymore

  3. If he is a good dad he should have 50/50 and seeing as he pays for the house it probably would be best if he retains it. Honestly I’d suggest going to therapy with him. You have 3 kids together, if there is a chance to make it work then at least try.

    1. Randi Alford but we dont know if there is a reason he doesn’t trust her or if she is being overly dramatic etc. I’m saying for the kids sake give therapy a try.

  4. He will never change. What he is doing is emotional abuse! Find a local Women’s shelter. They can help you get back on your feet and will not disclose the location they put you up in. I’m not sure if the organization Women in Need is in your area. I would definitely check into it.

  5. File for divorce if you are not happy. To make it fair, the house should be sold and you equally split the profits. And 50/50 custody if very reasonable. Just because you are not happy with him doesn’t mean you get to take his kids away.

  6. My advice to you is that life is too short to be anything but happy. Get out. Be adults and be civil for the babies but go if you’re not happy. You can get a job and become more independent financially.

  7. Find a apartment based on income low income and when it’s available pack what u can that day while he at work and leave then when u have ur own place there he can’t tell u to leave it and then after u find a job puts some money away and file for divorce..

  8. If he is good to the kids he should get 50/50 custody! As far as the house, you could probably get it but do you want it? Is it something you can afford or would moving be a better option?! You do need start finding a job. It will be alot of change but if your not happy, those kids dont need to see all that! You can do it. Good luck!

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