While Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner have fought hard throughout their nearly 8 years of marriage, they admit divorce will always be an option. As Mamas Uncut reported several weeks ago, Jamie and Doug shared a vulnerable photo of what they looked like after a session of marriage counseling.
In her lengthy caption, she started off by saying “we’re not giving up on each other. Not now, not ever.” However, while Jamie and Doug feel strong in fighting for their marriage, Jamie has recently revealed that while they don’t want to give up if they need it, divorce is always on the table for them.
“Marriage isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be so hard,” Jamie wrote on Instagram on August 31. “My mom never divorced my stepdad no matter how many times the neighbors had to call the cops to come pull him off her.”
Jamie continued revealing how she felt growing up. “Every time my sister and I heard the sirens swirling outside we let out a huge sigh of relief! Finally, the cops would be coming in to rescue our mom.”
But that was never the case because Jamie Otis’ mom didn’t want to get a divorce despite her tumultuous relationship with their stepdad. And there was a reason why.
“Mom said she never wanted to divorce him bc she thought people would think poorly of her if her children didn’t have a father. …she thought we “deserved” to have a father in our lives,” Jamie wrote. “So she took the beatings to avoid the stigma that’s associated with divorce.”
But as Jamie Otis put it “there shouldn’t be a stigma though. Divorce isn’t failure (even if it happens without abuse, obviously).”
“When the #marriedatfirstsight experts asked me what I wanted in a husband I told them I wanted someone with a big, loving, welcoming family and someone I could feel SAFE with. I’m beyond thankful & blessed they arranged me to be married to Doug 7.5 years ago.”
As Jamie continued, Doug is everything she’s ever wanted. “Not only did I get everything I asked for, but he doesn’t give up easily, he’s willing to listen, AND he began couples therapy w me,” she said along with the hashtag, “I hit the jackpot.”
However, while they both are fighting for each other, that’s not because Jamie doesn’t believe in divorce. “I’ll never say that I don’t believe in divorce or that I’d never get one bc both Doug Hehner & I have always kept divorce on the table as an option for us if we need it.”
And Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner have “zero shame in that!”
“We are CHOOSING each other. We are choosing to stay married….and not just for the kids. For us.”
Jamie Otis mentioned that their “therapist recommended chatting 30 minutes a day with each other WITHOUT mentioning work or kids.” She then asked a serious question, ”What the heck do you talk about after being married for a few years if it can’t involve work or your kids?!”
Do you have any suggestions?
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