It’s been one year since Kara Keough Bosworth said goodbye to her newborn son, McCoy Casey. The infant died shortly after his birth and in a new, moving Instagram tribute, the actor relived the heartbreaking experience to express her grief but also her hope.
Kara shared a solemn black and white photograph of McCoy with his eyes closed on Instagram Tuesday. Accompanying the photo is a lengthy caption that captures Kara’s feelings one year after her baby’s death.
Kara Keough Bosworth Says ‘I Love You’ to Her Late Son In a Heart-Rending Tribute to McCoy Casey.
Kara, who is the daughter of RHOC alum Jeana Keough, paid tribute to her late son on Instagram in which she expressed gratitude next to her sadness.
“A year ago today, I screamed you into this world,” the caption begins. “I begged God to let me hear you scream back. Instead, there was silence from you before the ‘Come on, McCoy’ chants started, shattering my heart and completely deflating the euphoria that comes after birth.”
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She recalls her son’s swift entry into the world in the post writing, “That night, I felt loved, supported, empowered. It was the most wonderful experience followed by the worst ending. Over the next 6 days, I’d have to make a conscious effort to say ‘I love you’ more than I said ‘I’m sorry.’ Both are true, I am so sorry and I do love you so much.”
Kara also imagined a reality in which her son survived. She asks about milestones that could have been, his favorite foods untasted, and his first words she never had the opportunity to hear.
“Those questions don’t help, but I ask them anyway. I know I always will,” the post continues. “I’ll love you for all the days of my life, and loving you the way that I do makes me feel like I know God.”
“So I guess it’s true what they say, that grief is next to holiness. Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally. And that grief and love can sit beautifully right beside each other.”
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“And finally, thank you for showing me that even though losing you feels dark — it’s also true that with depth comes darkness, like the ocean,” she continued. “And just like the depths of the ocean, my love for you — the love of a parent for their child — it just keeps going. So yeah, it may be a little dark down here… but it’s deep, too.”
“I love you, McCoy,” she wrote in conclusion. “From my deepest to the Highest. From earth to the heavens and back. We miss you something wonderful. Happy 1st Birthday, Baby.”
Kara delivered McCoy, her second child with husband Kyle Bosworth, on April 6, she wrote in an Instagram post weeks later, with their son “weighing in at 11 lbs. and 4 oz., and spanning 21 inches,” that he died after experiencing “shoulder dystocia and a compressed umbilical cord” during the birth.
“McCoy surprised us all with his size and strength (and overall perfection),” Kara wrote at the time. “He joined our Heavenly Father and will live forever in the hearts of his loving parents, his adoring sister, and those that received his life-saving gifts.”
The moving anniversary post comes just days after Kara announced that she was pregnant again, using Easter as a way to celebrate the news. On Instagram, she shared a photo of a onesie with a rainbow on it laying in an Easter Basket.
“I can’t ignore that this day also represents rebirth. Renewed hope,” she wrote on Instagram. “It is said that the word ‘Easter’ is derived from the goddess Eostre. Eostre, the goddess of fertility, symbolizes the birth of new life and the dawn of spring. And so it is for us.”
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Kara and Kyle and their daughter Decker Kate, 5, have so much to look forward to as a family. Although the loss of a child is not a wound that ever heals, we hope the holiday along with Kara’s continued openness about her grief will help them all see that life goes on.