This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.
QUESTION: Do We Need a Lawyer to Get Divorced?
“My husband and I have decided to get divorced, and we are both extremely upset about it but know it’s what we need to do to be happy again, especially for our son.
We would like to get divorced without a lawyer since we both agree it needs to be civil, and we both agreed already how our son would do visiting each other.
We live in KY. I am so scared of doing this alone… we’ve been married five years, together for 7. I just can’t imagine being a single mom, and I am terrified. Did anyone here ever get a divorce without getting the court involved? I need some advice/support… IDK but I’m scared, mamas.”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“I literally had to reread this because I thought it was about me! I’m going through the same exact situation. We are having a civil divorce, everything agreed on, and are not taking it to court. We do have a lawyer, but we got one lawyer and split the cost. We don’t need separate lawyers since we are agreeing on everything. But I definitely suggest having one to keep everything legal…
… As far as being a single mom, I’m not going to lie to you. It is hard. I have more bad days than good. I only see my son 50% of the time now, when I’ve spent every day of his life with him. But, it is rewarding in so many ways. What I have is mine. Everything I provide for my son, I know that I did that on my own….
… Even if I have to go without, I have a sense of pride and happiness knowing that I’m giving my son what he needs all by myself. And the peace of mind you will have from being on your own is a level of happiness that you can’t describe! Good luck to you, momma. It will get easier!”
“You need to protect yourself, your husband, and your children from all circumstances…I don’t know where you are but in BC you can talk to a lawyer for a half-hour for free, have all questions written down so you don’t forget anything. Or is there a place to go like family counseling? Make sure all financial issues, custody, holidays, etc. written down, both sign with a notary. Or it could become a nightmare a few years down the road…”
“I got divorced this year after 12 years of marriage, we didn’t get lawyers. We also agreed upon visitation with our son before we even filed the paperwork. Even though I knew it was what I needed to do to be happy, I was still very upset about it. Also worried about being a single mom. But once I got into the routine I was much happier.”
“Do as much as you can between you. Agree and write it out. Then go to a lawyer to get it checked out. You have to protect you and your child for the future. He can say stuff but then change his mind. He could meet a new partner, get a job overseas, etc. (And he needs protecting too; you could do the same!).”
“I’m sorry you’re going through it I’m sure it is very scary. To my understanding you don’t have to have lawyers at all if you agree on custody and dividing property you can include that in your divorce but of course you will technically still have to go through the court just won’t need lawyers.”
“You are not alone. We didn’t use an attorney. However, we did do mediation because we consulted with an attorney who said we would be more likely to have everything we wanted done approved by the courts if we did mediation. It took no time at all, and no back & forth. We agreed on everything from the start… but its best to have impartial eyes on it & eyes who know legal-speak. Good luck. It’s not easy or fun, but a truly amicable divorce can & does happen. My ex is still my best friend. You can do it!!!”
“You should be able to print the paperwork. Fill out and file it at clerk of court. At least get an agreement together and both of you sign and have notarized.”
“I highly suggest getting a lawyer and having everything for custody in court orders! I’m not sure where you live, but my son’s father and I didnt get a court order for custody when we split after 10 years, and 6 months later he moved in with a new girlfriend and because of not having a legal custody agreement he took my kids and didn’t have to give them back until we got a court order!”
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.