Would You Buy This Mannequin Murder House?

Do you ever see something and immediately understand that murder is somehow involved? Well, if you are unsure, we found a thing that’s the perfect homicide-vibe barometer. A real estate listing has gone viral for all the wrong reasons, or right reasons depending on which serial killer you ask, thanks to some novel objects found in the home that no one thought to remove. You will see a number of things that you can’t unsee here so consider yourself warned before you scroll any further.

Now, this listing’s photos start off pretty tame before turning into a Kubrickian kaleidoscope of horror. Who knew of the evil awaiting inside 3695 Primrose Ave. in South Lake Tahoe, California? All we can say is that a listing agent is likely out of the job because the terrors you will encounter on this property could have been completely avoided. If you would like to lose some sleep tonight, please take a look at the photos of this baffling mannequin murder house.

Welcome to Your New Nightmare

“With a little love, this duplex has great income property potential,” the listing reads. “Centrally located and close to casinos, beaches, shopping, skiing and the only cinema in town. There is a spacious 3 bedroom 2 bathroom unit upstairs and a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom unit with a 1 car garage downstairs.”

There Is Parking

“Large driveway that can accommodate numerous cars,” the agent points out and the photos seem to reflect. “Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity! Property to be sold ‘as-is.'” Okay, we’re really into parking stats, so we’re intrigued.

A Little Untidy, But Not a Dealbreaker

Do we love the stained carpet and dated wallpaper? Not so much, but we see potential in this modest home with a little TLC. This is the bottom unit of the duplex with the attached garage.

Check Out That View

We are not certain if this home was occupied by a mechanic at some point but a lot of focus is put on the cars here. All of the windows in the living room of the home seem to look out onto the garage. Why?

Homey

Okay. This could make a lovely home for a small family. Completely normal here. Nothing to see here.

Really, This Is Fine

We promise this does, indeed, get weird. We would like to know why an entire seat from a car is in the living room, however.

1962

This home was built in 1962, the same year Albert DeSalvo, the Boston Strangler, killed his first victim with the belt of her bathrobe. That’s just a curious tidbit we thought we’d share with you, dear reader.

Completely Fine

Is this the most glamorous bathroom on the planet? No, but it will do just fine. Moving right along.

A Room with a View!

There appears to be more of view than just parked automobiles in this home! We see trees peaking through this sunny bedroom in one of the homes two bedrooms. Nice!

Prepare Yourself

A photo of the somewhat messy garage, which the unit seems to be inextricably centered around, concludes the tour of the normal unit of this home. Now, we urge you to brace yourself. It gets wild from here!

Lovely Ladies

We invite you to feast your eyes on Stephen King’s vacation home, unit 2. Were these put in an attempt to make the home look more inviting? The listing did say “as-is” which we assume means you would be the proud owners of these beauty queens if you decided to purchase. Nothing to see here.

How Did That Make You Feel?

Did you see that last photo and feel like you’d last a part of yourself that you will never get back? Us too. Grab a rosary, some holy water, and a gun because it just goes downhill from here.

More Ladies

Have you ever been on a date with someone and realized that they would likely murder you if you let your guard down? This home is the embodiment of a creepy first date. Check please!

Notably Cleaner

This second unit is notably cleaner than the last and features uncovered fluorescent lights above an easily clorox-able linoleum floor. That’s perfect for the right individual!

Time for Her Closeup

We get a better look at the inhabitants of this house and a closeup of the mannequin wearing the blue gown. Stunning! We were taken with her beauty until we noticed something hiding underneath the bar.

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Take a Closer Look

Just a dismembered mannequin hiding underneath the bar waiting to bite off one of your kneecaps. No thanks! But, what’s her story?

Breathe In Through Your Nose, Out Through Your Mouth

You might be thinking to yourself, “I cannot be subjected to any more visual torture,” but we urge you to please continue, because it, somehow, gets much, much worse.

Your New Friends

Perhaps you fancied the 1987 film Mannequin starring Kim Cattrall as a mannequin who comes to life, and if that’s the case, you were probably the only one. The prospect is terrifying and if you would like a taste of it, direct your eye to the back bedroom to the left of the statue of the Virgin Mary. What’s going on back there!?

Take a Closer Look

If your entire body is covered in goosebumps, congratulations! You have a pulse. A couple of the mannequins have been animated somehow and they seem to be engaged in some sort of naughty business.

The Shining

Do you remember that scene in The Shining in which Shelly Duvall, as Wendy Torrance, encounters a man in a bear suit going down on another man and they both just turn and stare at her? Those mannequins are totally giving us that sensation all over again. The religious items around the home are clearly for its owner’s own protection.

Nine and a Half

In this dramatic photo, we count nine and a half mannequins here, but we are certain there’s another one about to Where’s Waldo us, so let’s just move on before we discover that lurking threat.

Finally, a Wholesome Room

The home in the top unit of the duplex certainly has nicer bathrooms than the lower, but that comes at a cost, okay? This home was listed nine days ago and we haven’t the slightest why it has not been snatched off the market already!

Wing

We find more angelic imagery in the second bathroom with a wing reflected in the mirror to remind you that there is still good in this world.

Gotcha!

Nope! Curiously, there are not more photos of the room with the lady mannequin on the floor and the dude one hovering over her… So, we look to the final photo of this listing showing another bedroom in this home complete with a saucy friend who is already over you.

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Mystery

We can’t stop thinking about the murder mannequin house and doubt we ever will. Think back to the time before you scrolled through this post to try and regain some of that lost innocence.

What did you think of the murder mannequin house? Doesn’t it look like something out of a horror movie? We hope you feel a little more alive and value your own mortality more now that you know what could happen to any of us. Your doomed fate awaits at 3695 Primrose Ave.