One woman is sharing her epic journey through motherhood — which included carrying someone else’s baby, twice.
“Many experiences in my life have come “to me.” That is the best way I can explain how I ended up being a gestational carrier – not once, but twice!”
“My husband and I have been together for sixteen years and were married in 2009. We have grown into adults together and have two amazing children. Hand in hand, we have navigated life’s hurdles, finishing college, major home renovations, fertility struggles, family circumstances, and a thousand-mile move away from everyone we knew and loved.”
“Prior to the birth of our second child, we were giving serious thought to the idea of moving.”
And as the couple talked about the possibility, things began to unfold according to plan but with a twist…
“As the weeks went on, conversations were had with my husband’s current employer and they approved a transfer. I was currently working as an insurance broker in New York and was looking for what I could do in our new location. What I started to notice was surrogacy continued to find its way into my online job searches. It wasn’t just one time, it happened over and over again. The seed was planted.”
“I brought the idea of surrogacy up to my husband. I remember so distinctly, sitting on our bed holding our newborn, thinking maybe this is something I should do. I asked him if it would seem strange for me to be pregnant with someone else’s baby or if he thought this was something I could even do. After several days of thinking it over, we decided we would walk down this road, and should something stop us, then it was not meant for us.”
“We were in the process of moving out of New York and I figured I would find an agency that could assist me in navigating this new road. I filled out the application and was contacted by someone at the agency. They answered questions and told me the state I was moving to was better, as New York prohibited gestational carriers.”
After the move they continued the process as it was very lengthy and extensive.
“I had to have medical records reviewed, blood tests, a home visit, paperwork, and a psychological evaluation. As the months went on, I seemed to pass each milestone. Eventually, the agency had found a couple that matched our preferences and we were set up for a video call. The day of the call is one I will remember for my entire life. I was so nervous, it felt like a blind date and so much was at stake.”
“Once we matched, I flew out to the fertility clinic the parents had chosen and met the doctors who performed more exams. What became a challenge at this point was the communication between all parties, as we had several different time zones to deal with. A while later I got the call from the clinic – we were all set to go and I would be starting my med schedule.”
Soon, delivery time was right around the corner.
“The Intended Parents were allowed to be in a room immediately off the operating room, so after she was born she would be brought to them. As I laid on the table, I asked the doctor and nurses if I could see her face for a moment before they took her. I can remember the pressure and the doctor commenting on what a big baby she was and how I would probably be thirty pounds lighter just from delivery. Next thing I knew, we heard her crying and they brought over this new, perfect baby swaddled and cleaned to meet me. I kissed her cheek, welcomed her to the world and told her to go meet her daddies.”
“I am forever bonded to this family. I have hopes of being in attendance for their most special days. In the hospital, we each had our own rooms and the parents came to visit with us as often as they could. More memories forever etched in my brain are the times when they would wheel her hospital bassinet into my room and then I witnessed them bonding as a family.”
In November of 2019 she began to think of carrying again and decided to go through Facebook instead of an agency. A year later she met a woman she had more in common with than she initially believed.
“This woman and I were born on the same day and it was then I knew I met my match. Later that month, they flew in to meet our family. That was almost one year ago from today.”
Now, she is carrying this woman’s son and couldn’t be more grateful.
“Surrogacy is a special road; it has hills and valleys, smooth roads and gravel, but it leads to this extraordinary rainbow. For me, I know this is the last journey I will take and I feel very confident in my decision.”
“I am so honored and thankful for the opportunities to grow these four babies and I am thankful to be able to watch them all blossom and bring goodness into the world. No matter how your family has been made, love is what matters most.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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