This post contains information about miscarriage which may be triggering to some.
One woman reached out to Reddit after a car accident caused her to miscarry and lose her 11-week pregnancy — something her mother-in-law was joyous about.
While family should have been the first place she turned to for love and support, her mother-in-law made it clear how she was actually happy the baby didn’t survive. “She is completely insensitive to how myself and significant other are feeling,” the mom wrote.
Prior to the accident, the couple decided to make the choice to not tell their families the pregnancy news “until we had past the danger period,” but sadly, danger found them in a different form. “Some idiot who jumped the red light,” she wrote in her post on Reddit. “Car was totaled and rolled.”
Both she and her significant other (SO) were lucky to survive the crash.
“SO was a bit scratched up and I’m very bruised,” she continued. “But sadly doctors said the trauma to my body was just too much for the baby.”Admittedly, her pregnancy had been a struggle “these last two to three weeks” leading up to the accident — “and I think my body just couldn’t do it.”
They planned to finally share the good news with their loved ones just days after the crash. “At first I was grateful to have not told them,” she revealed. But in their grief, her husband turned to his mom for support — which was a mistake.
“First offense was her glee in the face of our pain,” the grieving mom wrote. “She didn’t give condolences or anything. She said it’s for the best because we aren’t ready to be parents anyways. That felt like a massive slap.”
Then, the mother-in-law decided to post to social media and wrote “about the loss of her dear would have been grandchild,” the woman wrote. “It made me sick to see.”
Now their family is “bombarding” them with questions, something the mother did not want in the first place.
Both she and her husband agreed that if anything were to happen to their pregnancy, “we would deal and mourn as a closed team. No family needed to know of our loss,” she continued.
This situation has left her feeling “defeated.” She requested the mother-in-law to take the post down, which she did, but she was still hurt.
“I’ve cried the last three days and probably will for the next few. But I don’t know how to react at the moment,” she wrote. And it seems the mother-in-law threw gas on a flame. “She is glad we lost the baby but pretends to be so shattered on Facebook in front of the family,” she wrote. So now the mom has turned to the internet and is requesting help.
“I want to lose it and take all the emotions I’m feeling and hurl them at her. Tear into her and leave her wishing she was sorry,” she revealed. “But I don’t know how healthy that will be for SO and I right now. I feel like I’ve been punched and I can’t find a way to control my emotions and my MIL.”
One commenter shared: “I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I find it incomprehensibly cruel, that your MIL found it necessary to step on your already crushed soul over this loss.” While another said: “I am appalled by the way your MIL is making this loss/tragedy all about her. I cannot imagine taking away sharing someone’s news in any way and her behavior is abhorrent.”
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With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.