no bashing: i feel unattached from my baby due to abuse from their dad: advice?

No Bashing: I Feel Unattached From My Baby Due to Abuse From Their Dad: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice because she’s left feeling emotionally unattached to her unborn baby. She believes she feels this way because of the verbal and sometimes physical abuse she suffers from her child’s father. The mom admits she hates feeling this way but is afraid their child will grow up to be like their father.

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A member of the community asks:

“Is it normal to feel unattached from your unborn child after experiencing non-stop verbal abuse and occasional physical abuse from the father? I can’t stop thinking the child will grow up to be exactly like him, and I feel horrible for the feelings I’m having.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Hates Feeling Unattached to Her Unborn Baby

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Many of the community members encouraged the mom to leave the abusive relationship, believing that will help her stop worrying about her unborn baby’s future.

One commenter wrote, “Get away from him [and] never look back. The child will act the way you teach it to! Break the cycle. Teach your child to be loving, caring, intelligent, and respectful. Love your child no matter what. Babies are given a ‘blank slate.’ You can fill it how you want.”

Another mom said, “First, I’m sorry you’re going through the abuse. But remember just because the father is that way doesn’t mean the baby will be. But also, if he’s doing this to you, then most likely he will do the same to the baby. Get away from that man as soon as possible. He doesn’t deserve you or that baby. You and baby should be in a loving and caring environment. But you can be the only one that gives yourself and the baby that environment.”

And one person added, “Don’t blame the baby for the dad. This baby will be raised by you, not him or whoever raised him. Your baby will be awesome! And it’s normal not to feel attached to the baby while it’s in your belly. Some women aren’t even attached at birth because they’re so exhausted. But it will happen. Don’t worry.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.

Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.

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