A mom writes in asking for advice after she felt the need to contact CPS when her son came home from spending some time with his father. The mom said her son made some comments that had her believing he may “have been sexually and physically abused by his father.” However, after getting sole custody pending an investigation, the mom said her son’s behavior has declined and that he’s been biting, hitting, and pooping his pants. Can you help this lost mom figure out what her next steps should be?
A member of the community asks:
“My son usually sees his father a couple of times a week, sometimes overnight, sometimes for a few hours. Roughly a month ago, he made comments to me that have thought he might have been sexually and physically abused by his father.I called DHS and got sole custody while they investigate.
My question is: This last week, his behavior has been awful! He bit a friend at school (hasn’t done that since he was one and only to me), bit me, is hitting me, has been pooping his pants (been potty trained since right after turning 2) and running from me in parking lots, screaming constantly when I tell him to be quiet, pushing the baby down. I believe he has ADHD, and even that has been through the roof lately. And he’s doing everything to be defiant. Like I’ll tell him not to do something, and he will say he doesn’t care and do it anyway.
I don’t know what to do. I know he’s going through a lot. I need advice on how I can get these behaviors under control. I’m so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING going on. DHS tried to get info out of him in an interview without asking leading questions, and of course, he didn’t disclose anything because he doesn’t know them and isn’t going to just say it in the middle of a conversation with them. So at this point, IDK what the future holds. He’s three by the way.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Doesn’t Know What to Do Next
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Fan Question*Trigger warning* I contacted CPS due to something disturbing my son said: Advice?My son usually sees…Posted by Mamas Uncut on Monday, November 4, 2019
“Get him into counseling ASAP.” The majority of people who offered this mom some advice suggest that she put her son in counseling as soon as possible. One fellow mom wrote, “Get him into counseling asap… all these are very common in abuse cases… you are gonna need every ounce of strength and patience you have… his whole world got destroyed by the man he looked up to and was supposed to protect him… that’s ALOT for anyone to deal with let alone a 3-year-old… make sure you’re sharing this major behavior change with DHS…. and please I beg you don’t get angry with him… but counseling will really help him and will also help him tell his story.”
Another person added, “He needs counseling. And it takes time. Be patient with him, talk calmly, and let him know his outbursts are not ok but you need to stand your ground and do it calmly as you can.” And other commenters agreed, “Behavioral health counselor & psychiatrist will help weigh out your options what to do. Best of luck and I hope for your son’s sake he was not sexually assaulted by his own father. Horrible misunderstanding hopefully.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.