I’m Conflicted About Having a Second Child: What Are the Pros and Cons?

A mom writes in asking for advice about whether or not she should have a second child. This mom-of-one says “life is crazy enough with one” child, and she worries that adding another into the mix will only make life harder. However, she worries that one day she will look back and wish she had a second, only it will be too late to do it by then. She asks moms with multiples what the pros and cons are of having more than one child.

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A member of the community asks:

“Trying to decide if I should have another child: Thoughts?

I am trying to decide whether or not to have a second child. Life is crazy enough with one, I worry about how much harder it will be with two. But I also think one day I will wish I had a second and it will be too late. Tell me about your experience! Pros and cons of one vs. two? How did you decide if you were on the fence? How much harder is it going from one to two?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Conflicted About Having a Second Child

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionTrying to decide if I should have another child: Thoughts?I am trying to decide whether or not to have a…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Monday, June 8, 2020

Advice Summary

I'm Conflicted About Having a Second Child: What Are the Pros and Cons?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“They will always have that best friend if you have a second. It’s crazy for a couple years but then it levels out and is awesome. My boys now 10 and 12!!”

“Best advice I’ve ever gotten for this question: ‘You will never regret having another child, but you may regret not having another.’ I have a two-year-old and a 3-month-old and yes it’s exhausting and some days are just so hard, but there is soooooo much love in this house.”

“Don’t do it!! It’s a trap!!! I’m a mother of FOUR! My oldest two are twins. It was nice with them having each other to play with or entertain each other. But with them aside, my two youngest are 5 years apart and most days I wanna jab pencils in my ears so I don’t have to listen to the fighting and arguing…

… They NEVER get along, they fight about EVERYTHING! Not to mention the expenses and child care and schooling and proms and cars and yearbooks and driving and college! Don’t get me wrong, I love all of my children, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But I totally understand why some animals eat their young!”

“I only ever wanted 1 baby but after having her she gave me this confidence that I could do another well I have 4 kids now… It’s not harder, just an adjustment, and definitely different if you space them out far enough. I would recommend close in age.”

“It’s not bad at all having two. I have four and two was a good number.”

“We were one and done, but I just couldn’t get out of my head that she’d be alone after we were gone. So she’s getting a brother in 18 days. I didn’t like being pregnant in the first place, but it’s so much harder with a toddler (and work and pandemic!). She’s almost 3 and so helpful though, I’m hoping it will be easier later, but in the end, I’m so happy to give her the experience of a sibling.”

“My experience? It’s a lot harder. My daughter is 2, I just had my son a month ago. It’s been a huge adjustment for all of us. I’m doing it alone right now so that plays a big part BUT everything is different. Trying to balance it all ugh the baths, bottles, laundry, everything in between. If you have a partner and good support I believe you will be ok. I can’t imagine life without them both!”

“Best gift you can give your kid is a sibling! Closer in age the better IMO.”

“My daughter is an only child and we love it!!! We get to do more cool experiences, travel is cheaper, she has close cousins and friends!”

“I never wanted kids, but my husband changed my mind. We ended up with four children, and I would not change it for the world. My life still flexible, and thankfully we can do whatever we want because my job allows me to have them come along for some fun stuff. I would say do what works for you. Anything is possible, and if you have two children they will play together, and be friends. If you have just one you can compensate by making playdates. Also keep in mind the cost of living and necessities for a family of four.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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