Am I Wrong for Not Wanting My Son to Be My Sister’s Ring Bearer?

A mom writes in asking for advice after her sister asked if it would be okay if her son was the ring bearer at her upcoming wedding. However, because the mom is set to marry her fiancé soon, she said she doesn’t want her son to be in both weddings because she wants his first experience as a ring bearer to be at her wedding. However, now she’s wondering if that’s wrong of her. Any advice?

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A member of the community asks:

“So my sister is getting married in February! Yay, right? My fiancé and I have an 18-month-old (from a previous relationship) and she asked if he could be the ring bearer for her wedding. Am I selfish to say that I want him to do something like that at my wedding first?

I have a lot of pressure from my family saying they’ll buy his tuxedo, etc. and they really want him to be in the wedding, but she only knew the guy 4 months before they got engaged and they had a court wedding before their church one (which isn’t like her at all and she really moved her morals for this guy). I just don’t want our child to be involved in something like that especially when my wedding is close.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Doesn’t Want Her Son to Be a Ring Bearer

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Some people think it’s wrong, while others say, “Hey, it’s your kid.” One commenter wrote, “No you aren’t wrong. That’s your child. You want his first experience in something like this to be at your wedding. It would be wrong if your wedding was years out, but since it’s close, they need to respect your wishes.”

Another person said, “Think of it this way, let him do it. It will be a dry run for your wedding. You will see how he is going to act walking down the aisle and try and correct anything you didn’t like before your wedding. Also, he will already have the suit he is supposed to wear. It’s not a contest to who gets him first. You should be honored. I love little kids at a wedding and if I couldn’t have had the one I wanted at my wedding I would be really disappointed. Especially in the pics.”

And one woman wrote, “Do NOT feel pressured to do something you’re not comfortable doing. He’s your child, not hers. He’s still very young and we know how that turns out sometimes. Be honest with your sister and reinforce your feelings.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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