Friends, family, and even strangers can have strong opinions during pregnancy, some good and some… well, not-so-welcome. There’s advice on what to eat (and not to eat), types of exercise you can do (and types you can’t), what you can drink (and what you can’t), and — do you sense a theme? One thing’s for sure, though, it’s typically frowned upon to tell a woman that she looks “gross” while pregnant.
That’s just what happened to one first-time-mom who got pregnant after a one-night stand. Shockingly her best friend told her that her baby bump was “disturbing and a little gross” and the statement has shattered a decades-long friendship.
The woman shared her story on Reddit, noting that her best friend has been like a brother her to her and that the relationship is very much platonic. Since telling him about the pregnancy, though, the relationship has changed.
“He thought it was the coolest thing ever, but then gradually dropped off the face of the planet and he never wanted to hang out anymore,” she said of her best friend’s response. “Won’t go to the gym with me, is too busy for the cinema, doesn’t feel like going to the mall, can’t come with me to visit mutual friends, nada.”
Eventually, she asked him directly what was going on and that’s when he told her that he finds her baby bump “disturbing and a little gross.”
“I found that so demeaning and hurtful, and I burst out crying and called him an immature a—hole and told him to GTFO,” she said. “He apologized and left and I haven’t heard from him since.”
She wrote in the post that she’s concerned that the friendship has been ruined forever.
The response to the post was mixed. Some empathized with her friend, noting that she shouldn’t have asked the question if she didn’t want an honest answer.
On the other end of the spectrum, some wondered if maybe the friend realized that he’s in love with her and that’s why he’s so upset about the pregnancy.
“If they were as close as she says and it was purely platonic from his side he wouldn’t be ghosting her, and he’d be like ‘dude, I just can’t get over how weird the baby belly thing is’ and probably poke it or something,” said one commenter. “This whole situation reeks of unsaid plans/feelings.”
After seeing all of the responses, the original poster chimed in to share an update. After thinking about it more, she had decided to apologize to her friend in the hopes of salvaging the friendship.
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.