The dynamics of a blended family can be complicated. In one woman’s case, she wondered if she had made the right call allowing her daughter to call her second husband “daddy” against the wishes of her first husband, who is also the girl’s father.
The woman’s ex had broken up with her when she was just two months pregnant, she shared. He went on to remarry and have two children with his second wife. The original poster married her current husband and had a son, now three, and also cares for her seven-year-old daughter.
Both her daughter and son call her husband “daddy,” but her daughter doesn’t have a similar relationship with her stepmother, whom she calls by her first name.
The issue really came to a head when she and her husband picked up her daughter from her ex-husband’s house. When they arrived at the house, her daughter yelled, “mommy and daddy are here, I’m going home!” Her ex-husband became “visibly upset” and called her later still upset, accusing her of “emotionally abusing” their daughter and alleging that she forced their daughter to call her husband “daddy.”
She posted on Reddit, asking the community if it’s “really bad” for her daughter to call her husband daddy.
And the responses were generally not that sympathetic towards the ex-husband.
“If he wanted to have competition for the term daddy then you shouldn’t have gone out looking for competition for the term wife when he was still married to you,” one person wrote.
“Man Who Sees Daughter Twice a Month Since She was One Upset She Calls Stepfather Daddy. More at eleven,” said another.
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Many pointed out that it sounds like her ex-husband is feeling a little insecure about the whole situation.
“Her dad is feeling insecure and he’s lashing out. Ultimately telling your daughter to stop calling a parental figure dad is just going to hurt her at this point and if your ex takes a second to think he’ll hopefully see that,” said someone.
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.
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