“David is a high functioning autistic child who was put in my sons class to help him socialize and to help other kids learn to not discriminate against special needs people,” the mom wrote in Reddit’s popular “Am I the A**hole” subreddit, where people go to crowdsource feedback about their supposedly bad behavior.
Mom Invites Son’s Entire Class to Birthday Party Except for David, a Boy with Autism
“From what I know about him and his mother they are just doing their best, and I have nothing against either of them. However, there have been incidents with David before.”
The mother continued that she had heard of an incident during which “David had a meltdown at another party,” though the incident was not confirmed.
David’s mother confronted her, she shared, and so now the original poster (OP) wants to know: Is she the a**hole for not inviting David to her son’s party?
A Consensus Forms: Yes, Mama, You Are in the Wrong Here
Overall, commenters did not side with the OP, saying she was, in fact, an asshole.
“You could have spoken to his parents beforehand about the environment and potential ways to mitigate that,” one commenter said. “This would have been a good chance to teach your son to include people, and instead you taught him it’s okay to exclude someone if their disability makes your fun time slightly more difficult.”
“A meltdown at one party doesn’t automatically mean he will meltdown at ALL parties. You didn’t even TRY to find a way to include him,” another said.
“David should not be excluded just because he has a harder time socializing than other children, and OP was wrong to assume,” said one commenter. “Even if he does have a meltdown, which you don’t know that he will, at least he was invited.”
Some pointed out that the mom also handed out the invitations in class, causing embarrassment for David who was not given one. “If the parents wanted to exclude kids anyway, they could have mailed the invitations individually instead of having him pass them out and open in class, thus humiliating David,” someone said.
Others noted that David is part of the class specifically so that he can socialize and to teach the children to be more accepting.
“You are showing your son exactly how to discriminate against a special needs person,” someone wrote.
And we’d have to agree! Poor David! He didn’t deserve any of this. We hope the OP has learned her lesson and decides to be a little bit more understanding and inclusive next time.
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.
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