A mom writes in asking for advice about dealing with depression. She says she is no stranger to depression: she’s always felt depressed about her weight. But lately, things have gotten worse. She constantly feels like a bad mom, a bad partner, and a bad daughter. A recent strain in her relationship with her mom may be part of the reason why she is feeling extra down. But she is turning to other moms for advice in dealing with depression. See what our community had to say below.
A member of the community asks:
“I am struggling with depression: Advice?
Private post, please… I have been struggling a lot with what I think is bad depression and anxiety. I’ve always been low in the dumps and sad about my weight, but every day I wake up not wanting to carry on, thinking I’m a bad mum, or not having the energy to do much.
I always feel lonely and I’ve got so much family around me. I always feel like everyone’s against me. I’m close to my mum and I tried opening up to her; she tried with me, but we’re just clashing as there is no ongoing support for me. But then again, I don’t take support when she offers it because I’m always taking stuff out on her.
I always feel I’m not good enough mum, partner, or daughter. I feel like I run around everyone. I even fell out with my mum, and she came over for a favor today and I did it and I got no thanks. All I want is a hug and a cuddle and for her to tell me it will ok. I’ve been to counseling and CBT therapy and none of it has ever worked. So do I need to maybe go on some tablets? I’m just so confused and it’s not like it’s because of the lockdown. I’m always like this, just worse at the moment.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Struggling Hard with Depression
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“You have already taken the first step by acknowledging there is a problem. So the next thing is to see a dr & have a psych evaluation so they can get you on the exact meds you need. Pathways is great for this. Then you need some kind of spiritual practice in your life. Not necessarily religious. Just spiritual…
… Sometimes the root of our emptiness & pain is a lack of faith or closeness to the God of our choice. I hope this makes sense? Feel free to message me personally. I am here for you. Reach out. Get the help & support you need. Maybe even invite your Mom to go with you so she can learn how to support you through this. I wish you the best.”
“It’s okay not to be okay. But please get to see a therapist to prescribe some medication. I was struggling with both as well until I let my walls down and got the help I needed. I can’t believe how much the medication & therapy helped me. It was worth it. Good luck to you and I pray things get better for you.”
“If one of the key things is about your weight why don’t you sign up to slimming world online? Talking from experience here, I had really bad moods and felt like I was stuck in a rut with no sense of control. It really helped my mood and I gained my confidence back. Medication will also help you get on your feet.”
“Go to the dr. You may need to go on medication. There is nothing wrong with that. Some of us just need that. It may take a little trial and error to find the right one, but stick with it.”
“Please see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, and discuss whether medication might help you. Getting exercise helps endorphins but it doesn’t cure depression. Sending hugs.”
“So I’m 100% not judging. I’ve had mental health problems for as long as I can remember. I had a fair bit of trauma which caused and worsened some of my illness. It will not get better unless you make it better. It is so hard to get better. Beyond worth it though…
… Don’t ever quit your therapy. If one doesn’t work, try another. And keep trying till you find out what works for you. Talk to your dr. There are many illnesses medication can help. It’s more of a bandaid solution. Till you can get the therapy that works for you. But it helps!…
… You’re not failing your baby. You’re trying to get better for them. Depending on what the favour was, maybe your mother just couldn’t help? Maybe you’ve been disrespectful and need to apologize? I wasn’t there, dunno. If your illness makes you guys fight,its still on you (hard lesson for me to learn). Hope some of this helps. Good luck darling! Stay strong.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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