A mom writes in asking for advice. Her boyfriend doesn’t want to be considered serious and be a family, even though she wants that. They are very young but recently just had a baby. No one knew about their relationship until the birth of their baby. Once that happened, she thought they would finally be more serious; however, he doesn’t want that. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“So I’m a first-time mom. Unfortunately, I’m rather young, I’m 15-years-old and my child’s father is 18-years-old. We never really had a fully committed and serious relationship but that’s because nobody really knew about us. Just recently, when I had my daughter, I thought we would become a family because we let everyone know the birth of our kid.
I want a family and he doesn’t want to be committed to a relationship. But, every time we’re around each other we seem like the perfect family. I try to do my best to keep him happy in the hope of becoming a family. My heart is tired of being confused, but I don’t see myself with anybody else but him. Should I just give up? How?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Wanting a Family
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
Advice for this mom was very encouraging to her. They told her that even though her boyfriend doesn’t want to be a family, she still has a family with her baby. One said, “You can’t force him to be the father and family man you and the baby need him to be. Focus on your baby, who is your number one priority now and for the rest of your life.” Another shared, “I think you should ask him to define your relationship and if he can’t or won’t, then you should move on. You’re way too young to settle for a life where you’re not a priority. ”
Others encouraged her to seek other support. One commented, “Do you have any other support? Like your own mom or dad? They’ll be more reliable at the stage you are in right now rather than the father. Keep him involved but no point relying on him.” One shared a similar experience by saying, “I was a 16-year-old mom. My advice is to just focus on yourself and your child. Don’t worry about trying to make a family. Just focus on being the best mom you can be for your baby.”
Another commenter shared very meaningful advice. She suggested, “I think you shouldn’t worry about a relationship right now. Focus on yourself getting finished with school and making the best years enjoying your baby when they are that little. Don’t try to push something if it is looking negative because it could lead to a lot of emotional stress.” She continues by saying, “Just focus on you and that beautiful baby. If he wants to be around then that’s fine but a relationship should not be a priority right now.”
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