A mom writes in asking for advice. Her boyfriend shared personal information with their landlord and she got upset over it. It wasn’t just normal information, but that her baby daddy is actually on drugs, and that her boyfriend is not the real dad. She is more embarrassed than anything. He was defensive when she tried talking to him about it. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“My boyfriend and I have been together for years, and he has been the only father figure my child has known for almost all of her life. Recently he wanted to tell our new landlord a little about us so they can get to know us. He chose to tell them that our child is not biologically his and that her biological dad is on drugs. I wasn’t there, but he told me about it after the fact, and I was really bothered by it.
First, it upset me that he feels the need to point out that they are not really his kids because they are super close. And then it is just embarrassing that my ‘baby daddy’ is on drugs. To me, that’s not really his business to tell. Is it weird that I don’t feel like that is important or necessary information for people to find out to get to know us? He was super defensive and upset when I told him it bothered me. He feels like it’s not a big deal at all.”
Community Advice for This Mom Embarrassed and Hurt
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The advice for this mom was pretty split. Some felt that the boyfriend sharing personal information was a big problem, while others didn’t see it as an issue. One shared, “I agree with you 100%! That is information that did not need to be revealed. Period.” Another agreed, “Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean it needs to be shared. Ask him to refrain from sharing private information in the future.”
Some didn’t see it as a problem. One said, “If he told the truth, what’s the problem?” Another commenter gave another side of the issue by saying, “He sounds like a great dad. I wouldn’t let it get to you too much. He sounds proud to call your child his and wants people to know how proud he is.”
Others encouraged this mom. One suggested, “I can understand why that would be upsetting but it’s done now and I would just move on. Tell him in the future you would prefer that not be shared.” Another shared, “You could point out to him some of his personal information he might not like the landlord knowing and then ask him how would he like it if you told him.”
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