My Boyfriend’s Kids Call Me Mom, But it Gives Me Anxiety: Any Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice. Her new boyfriend’s kids recently started to call her mom and it gives her anxiety. They have been dating for five months. Her kids recently asked to call her boyfriend, dad and he agreed. She loves his kids but she is worried about being a good parent for them. Any advice for this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“I need advice ladies, I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now, and everything is going well. He lost his fiance some time ago and we blended our families. Our kids love each other. I even love his kids as my own and he loves mine.

A few weeks back my son asked to call him daddy, and he agreed. Yesterday, his daughter asked me if she can call me mom, I was happy and surprised, so I agreed. However a few hours later I had anxiety over it. I started asking myself what if I fail them? What if I’m not good enough to be their mom? I’m scared and I’m freaking out.

How do I handle this? I love them so much and I’m very happy they see me as their mom on their own. Especially since my boyfriend and I never said anything about it. We only introduced each other to our kids as uncle and aunt. The anxiety is killing me. How do I take on this task? I knew from the beginning I have to be there for them as their mother but now it so real.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Having Anxiety

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary


Most advice for this mom supported her even if she gets anxiety over her boyfriend’s kids calling her mom. One said, “Just let it flow. They need a mom and vice versa.” Another agreed, “Having step kids, I get it. But honestly just keep doing what you’ve been doing. The only thing that has technically changed is your name. You’re still being their mom, just keep doing that.”

More commenters felt that she was doing just fine. One said, “Honestly, I think the fact that you feel anxious and are concerned about failing them … is a sign you care and only want what’s best for them.” Another agreed, “Your problem is failing them but they obviously love you as you love them. You got this mama!”

However, some commenters felt that it was a little too early for her boyfriend’s kids to call her mom. One said, “You’ve been dating for 5 months and already blended your families? You should slow down. The kids are getting attached and if anything bad happens, they’re going to suffer the most.” Another agreed, “Seems awfully soon to involve children’s emotions. I don’t know that I’d even introduce my daughter to a man after 5 months.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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