Am I Wrong to be Concerned About Sexual Abuse When My Daughters Are Around Male Family & Friends?

A mom writes in asking for advice. She wants to protect her daughters from sexual abuse since she was sexually abused as a child. She is constantly concerned about who her daughters are around, especially male family members. Her daughter’s father makes fun of her for her worry. She is wondering if she is overly worried. Any advice for this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“Trigger warning: Sexual abuse. Am I wrong for being concerned about who my daughters are around? My baby’s father makes me sound like a pervert for having the worst worries when my girls are with him. I’m a victim of sexual abuse by two family members and I have three girls. He knows I don’t want people around my daughters. I’m not going to assume everyone is a predator, but I’m not going to give anyone the benefit of the doubt just cause they’re family. So am I wrong for telling him to keep an eye on my girls around male family members whether it be mine or his family?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Worried for Her Daughters

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary


Advice for this mom was very supportive. Almost all of the commenters told her she is not wrong in her desire to protect her daughters from sexual abuse and to trust her motherly instincts. One commented, “You are definitely not wrong. Go with your mother instincts, especially with what you’ve been through.” Another shared, “Absolutely not. You are doing what is best for your babies and that is never wrong.”

More commenters agreed with her than not. One said, “Yes it is totally okay to feel that way and anyone who thinks it’s wrong of you has clearly never dealt with or experienced something like that happen. People are ignorant of what they don’t know. Those are your babies and all you are doing is looking out for them.” Another commenter said, “Because you never know who will be abusive, it’s better to be aware!”

Others agreed and shared similar experiences. One commented, “Absolutely not! The same thing happened in my family. So I definitely do not blame you for feeling that way. If it turns out that they’re not, better safe than sorry and your daughters are definitely the main priority. Good call.” Others felt that she shouldn’t let it control her life and should seek help for her paranoia.

Another commenter mentioned, “I am a survivor also, but I don’t think like this at all. I refuse to let it control my life and I refuse to be paranoid over it. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but I do think you’re going a bit overboard not allowing anyone around them and constantly nagging their dad about it.” One commenter shared, “You need to see a doctor about your paranoia. It’s not healthy for you to stress that much. You’re not wrong for realizing that there is a danger, and yes, an eye should always be kept on the kids. But, this sort of stressing about it and not trusting any males around your kids at all is not healthy.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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