A mom writes in asking for advice. She is struggling as a stay at home mom while going to college too. Sometimes she tries to do all the housework since her husband works long hours but her daughter just cries whenever she puts them down. She feels like she is neglecting everything or neglecting her daughter and doesn’t know what to do. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“How do other stay-at-home mom’s handle all of their housework? My daughter (1-year-old) always cries if I’m not holding her, and it makes it so difficult to do housework. She can be right next to me and will still cry her eyes out. It makes me feel so horrible like I’m neglecting her. But my husband works very long hours outside every day, and if the house isn’t clean when he comes home he says he can’t relax and gets exceptionally irritated. I’m also in college, and she gets so upset when I don’t hold her that I can’t even do my school work without feeling guilty.
I’m going to college to make the best life for my family and dropping out is not an option. I feel like I’m a slave to the two most influential people in my life. All I try to do is be the best I can be for both of them. I either get to make my baby cry or neglect every other aspect of my life it seems. I’m about to come unglued if I can’t figure out a way to juggle my life. I am open to all advice other than leaving your husband or drop out of college.”
Community Advice for This Mom Struggling with All Her Responsibilities
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice for this mom was mixed. Some felt that the only way to get things done as a stay at home mom and college student is to occasionally let her child cry. One said, “Let her cry. Mine is four months and sometimes you are just going to have to let her be mad.” Another shared, “Let her cry while you do housework. I had to do the same with mine and still have to sometimes. They aren’t going to be traumatized.”
Another suggested babywearing to help her get things done in the house. One commented, “You can always babywear. But letting them cry for a few minutes until you can distract them with a toy is going to help you in the long run.” One shared, “Housekeeping toys so she can help and a baby backpack for when she can’t. Plus if she’s in the backpack you’re getting your cardio.”
Some shared their similar experiences to offer help and support for this mom. One commenter said, “I’m still trying to learn the same balance! I’m not in school but we both work and my son is almost 4. So my days look a little different! I feel your frustration on your husband’s point of view, but I think it’s okay if that’s one of his ‘needs.’ Just let yourself know he probably wants things to be tidy, not necessarily spotless. Sometimes telling myself ‘I’m only going to accomplish as much as possible in ‘this amount of time’ helps so much!”
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