How would you feel if your ex’s new wife posted photos of your child without permission? Without even having met the child? And if your ex was not even involved in the child’s life? One mom writes in asking for advice.
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers. Let’s hear from the community!
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A member of the community asks:
How would you feel if your child’s father’s wife posted old pictures of your child on Facebook even though she’s never met the child before and you’ve never met her? The child’s father doesn’t see his child at all.– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Later, she added some additional context about how she learned about this violation.
I searched her name and theft and burglary showed up. Also, she is on probation. Her mug shots look like she is definitely on something. I have recently made a new Facebook and deactivated my old one because of this problem.
I never gave out any pictures. I’m going to guess there was a person on my friends list giving the pictures. I’m going to guess that the person got deleted a long time ago because all the pictures are two years old. They have no recent pictures.
I am not keeping the child away from his father. The father is actually court-ordered to take the child but has never done it. He’s also been ordered to pay child support but has never paid a dime.– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Let’s see what the community had to say on this issue!
Posting Those Pictures Was Not Okay (So It’s Okay to Be Angry)
“If he’s not in the kid’s life, how did she get pictures of your guys’ kid? If he’s not in the kid’s life, then she shouldn’t be posting pictures of a child that she has nothing to do with.”
“I’d be pissed. is the short answer.”
“I’d flip my lid!”
“Well if she didn’t know the child at all, then I’d say she has no place to post anything! And if she did know the child (hypothetically speaking of course). then she should ask to see if it was okay with you because you are the child’s mother. I’m all about respect.”
“I’d be wondering why myself if she doesn’t know your child. And be a little pissed, especially if he doesn’t have anything to do with your child. Unfortunately. blocking only goes so far. If they are friends with someone you know, they will have access to your pictures…”
Call Out, Report, and/or Block Your Ex and His Partner
“She has no right . I’d PM her and tell her she’s out of order.”
“Block her and have your BF block her too. That’s weird and obsessive.”
“Weird. I’d get a restraining order.”
“I’d have a talk with her.”
“Facebook has this thing where you can report a person using your child’s photos… all you have to do is search it. I forgot how to. But I used it a few years ago, so anyone besides you can’t post their pictures. Facebook will take down each photo they post of your child.”
“If you have sole custody, then you can absolutely report it and have it taken down. While I do think step-parents have some rights with children, things like photos being posted on the internet of the child without permission from both biological parents is not one of the things that people should have a right to do. She’s likley attention-seeking, seeing as she’s never met your child. At the end of the day if you feel like that’s a danger to your child or will have a negative impact on her then, yes: do report it. As much as she may think she has the right the law is very clear on the subject of who gets to make those kinds of decisions.”
A Stepmom’s Point of View
“As a stepmom, I’ve posted photos of my daughter before I met her. Why not? Her life existed before I came into the picture. There is nothing wrong with that. Maybe she wants dad to step up, or maybe she’s being fed lies that he’s a “good dad.” Or maybe she’s psycho and is telling everyone it’s her kid. The world may never know if you don’t try to talk to her yourself. If she’s posting photos of your child, you have a right to talk to her. You can always report her on Facebook for using the photos without your permission but takes a while for Facebook to do anything.”
Most people seem to feel that the OP is within her rights to feel upset by her ex’s wife posting photos of a child she’s never meant. Particularly given how this woman has never met the child and the ex is not involved in the child’s life.
The best course of action may be to report the photos and have them taken down. If the problem persists, you may consider reaching out to your ex and his wife and explaining why you would rather they not do that. Hopefully, that addresses the issue.
We wish you the best of luck, mama, and hope this advice was helpful!
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